Believe Me, Natalie
by arr ayy
Summary: Sequel to Reid My Mind - Natalie has a problem, and Spencer will do whatever it takes to help her. But what happens when that problem's resolved and another arises? Spencer has no idea what to do, but can he eventually make things right? Reid/OC.
1. Chapter 1

_A/N: So, like I said before, I hated how I started the sequel. I feel like I took it a little too far, and it was too different than the last story. I felt like I could do much better, so I started over. Now, instead of being 7 years down the road, it's only two. Oh, and thanks to I Philosoraptor for being pretty much the only person to tell me they liked the other first chapter anyway, haha. Anyway, here's the NEW and IMPROVED sequel :) It's a little longer than usual, but I needed to establish a lot of things.  
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**"Forever alone, until I found you. I know that you'll stay. You won't run away.  
I'll help you find your way every moment you're awake.  
You know I'll stay...** **"  
- The Academy Is...**

Spencer Reid hunched over on the couch in his new living room. He held his face to keep tears from gushing out of his eyes. The moon was the only light that could be seen in the entire place, and it seemed to light it just right. The cold wind from an opened window whirled around him in a brisk hug, and all he could think about was his girlfriend Natalie, and how her arms did the same thing. Emotions began to flood through him more quickly as he thought of her. They hadn't even been in their new loft apartment for two weeks before Natalie was forced to call the hospital her home. Spencer clutched his hair as the memory of what happened flooded into his mind.

_Morgan busted down the front door to the house Natalie was believed to be being held in. The team slowly walked through the upstairs. They were right above Natalie, and Spencer just knew it. He burst through the door to the basement and began slowly walking down the stairs. When he saw her lying on the floor, he noticed that her eyes were shut tightly and tears were streaming down her dirty cheeks. "Hotch, I got her!"_

_Natalie slowly opened her eyes to find Spencer staring back at her. Her tears turned to those of relief. Hotch and Morgan came barreling down the stairs. "He's not here man," Morgan told Spencer, referring to the UnSub.  
_

_Hotch didn't show any emotion. He turned to his colleague. "We'll get him," he said, gingerly placing a hand on Reid's shoulder.  
_

_Dr. Reid slowly and carefully removed the duct tape from Natalie's face. He brushed the deep brown, wavy hair away from it, and she winced at the pain. Natalie saw a look of repulsion come over his face. "We better get a medic out here." He turned to the men._

_"Already on the way," Hotch told him. _

Spencer sighed and trudged to the kitchen. He slowly fixed himself a coffee and noticed the time on the coffee maker. 7:03 A.M. He hadn't slept all night. He rubbed his eyes and took a long sip of his coffee. It seemed to trigger the memory of what happened next.

_Natalie's head was bleeding pretty badly, and she had to get stitches. The doctor took the gauze from the nurse and began to wrap her head. Morgan and Spencer came into the room. Spencer stayed back behind Morgan, hands in his pocket. "How are you feeling, honey?" He was a little scared of seeing Natalie in this condition, but when he saw the confused look on Natalie's face, he stepped up._

_"U-um... do I know you?" she questioned. Spencer almost choked on his own saliva.  
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_Morgan looked as confused as Spencer felt. "My name is Special Agent Derek Morgan..." Natalie continued to stare at the two men in confusion. "You don't know who either of us are?"_

_The doctor cleared his throat. "She's suffering from a mild form of memory loss. She remembers select things, but not much. Her full memory could return from anywhere between a week and a month, but it's not permanent." He nodded at the men and left the room.  
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_Spencer felt tears on the verge of breaking. Morgan nudged him to tell him to move towards her, but Spencer seemed rooted to his spot, so Morgan took initiative. "Well, like I said, I'm Derek. This," he motioned to Spencer. "is Special Agent Doctor Spencer Reid." Natalie gave a weak smile and grabbed her gauze wrapped head. It was still throbbing. The bright hospital lights weren't exactly helping._

_"You look young to be a doctor," she stated sweetly._

_Spencer cleared his throat. "I'm 29. But, I am..." was all he could get out. He shuffled his feet._

_"Oh. Why did you call me honey when you came in?" she wondered, the smile fading from her lips._

_Spencer felt like a small rip had just gone through his heart. "Y-you're my... girlfriend..."_

_"Oh..." she half-smiled. "I'm so sorry I don't remember you."  
_

Spencer sighed once again and ruffled his hair. It was killing him that Natalie didn't remember who he was. But he was determined to help her. No matter what. He wasn't supposed to go back to the hospital until 8, but he couldn't wait any longer. He grabbed his cardigan and quickly drove to the hospital. By the time he got there it was still only 7:50. He patiently waited for the clock to strike.

In her room, Natalie woke up to find the doctor coming into her room. He took a glance at her chart, and he simply stood there thinking. "When can I go home?"

"Well Ms." He glanced at the chart. "Moriarity, you suffered a very severe blow to the head. We just want to make sure that everything is fine. We've scheduled an MRI for 10:00am, if everything is clear you are free to go." He placed the clipboard back over the railing and left the room. It was only 8:00 A.M. The nurses wouldn't be in to prep her until 9:30. Natalie looked around the white room. There was nothing to do but lie there, staring at the ceiling.

Someone cleared their throat. Natalie looked over to the door to find Dr. Reid. She smiled. He had brought her flowers. It seemed highly unorthodox to her, but she then remembered that he'd said they were dating, so she shrugged it off. Besides, what girl doesn't like flowers? "Uhh, here." He handed her the flowers shyly. He was squirming a little, and he felt like it was the first day he met her again.

"Thank you, Dr. Reid. They're beautiful." Natalie smelled them. Daisies and Baby's Breath.

"Please, call me Spencer. Although," he chuckled. "Most everyone calls me Reid. Everyone at the BAU anyway," he told her.

She smiled sweetly and placed the flowers on her bedside table. "Is that what I called you, too?"

"You called me Spencer. Or any pet name you felt like at the time, ha." Spencer shifted in the seat he was now in. She nodded and examined his features. She could see why she would have been dating him. He had delicate features, and although his beautiful hazel eyes seemed to carry dark bags under them, they fit him. His hair was just the way she liked it, messy and unkempt. And even though his body was long and thin, she felt like it would be amazing to hold at night. He cleared his throat, and she realized she'd been staring at him.

"Oh! I'm sorry." Natalie blushed. Spencer smiled at this.

"It's alright." Spencer cleared his throat. "I just want to let you know that we caught the man who kidnapped you. This morning."

"Oh, you did? That's so good to hear!" Natalie beamed. Spencer instantly felt his heart warm when he saw the gleam return to her eyes. Natalie couldn't hold back the tears this time, and they fell from her eyes. "Sorry. I'm just happy that I can feel safer now. This all happened just when I thought I had my life back on track." Spencer shuffled in his seat; Natalie figured that her crying was making him uncomfortable. "It's just that my parents past away when I was really young. Then my foster mother did, and up until a couple of years ago I was a wreck. I was depressed, but I had to get a job because I was running out of money. Then I started working at... I don't remember actually. I just know I had a job." Natalie looked down at her hands.

Spencer was hoping she'd remember working with him, but he replied, "Losing the people you love is one of the hardest things in life." He wondered if she would realize he was partially talking about her, but when she simply looked at him, he continued. "My father left when I was young. I still don't think I'm over the shock of it. And my mother... I hadn't seen her in eight years before I flew her here for a case a few years ago. But even since then I haven't seen her."

"Where is she?" Natalie asked, and Spencer sat up in his chair. "I'm sorry, I shouldn't have-"

"No, it's fine," he assured her. Even with her state, he still felt completely comfortable with her. "She's in a mental institution... Paranoid Schizophrenic."

"Ms. Moriarity?" A nursed popped her head in the door. "We're ready to start prep."

"I better go." Spencer stood up.

"Spencer?"

"Hmm?" He turned around.

"Thank you. For everything." Spencer smiled widely at her before waving and exiting the room.

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An MRI is a very unusual thing. You have to lie perfectly still on this long stretcher-like bed for what seems like hours while a machine takes pictures and reads your brain. Flashes of the basement kept going through Natalie's head. She had to think of something else. Her mind immediately went to Spencer. He was so sweet and extremely fascinating. He was coy, but would open up to her, which shows trust. She figured that came from their relationship.

"Alright, Ms. Moriarity, you're all finished." The doctor announced over the intercom. A nurse came in and helped her up and back to her room. She said it would be a minute before the results were verified. So she had to wait again, except this time she didn't have a tall, beautiful man to keep her company. Just as she thought that, Morgan and Spencer came into the room.

"Good news," Morgan began. "We caught the UnSub. Your kidnapper."

"I know. I was told this morning," Natalie replied, looking to Spencer.

"But there is one other small thing," Spencer added.

"What's that Spencer?" Natalie asked. Morgan looked at Spencer and gave him a sly grin, causing Spencer to blush a bit. "Well, unless the man takes a plea bargain... you're going to have to testify."

Natalie nodded. "Of course, anything you need."

"Well that's greatly appreciated." Morgan smiled.

The doctor burst into the room. "Well, Ms. Moriarity, looks like everything came back negative. Despite the nasty bump on your head, you're just fine." Natalie and Spencer both sighed with relief. "You're free to go." And with that, he left.

"Alright well, we better be heading out. Someone will be in touch with you." Morgan flashed his pearly whites one more time and then headed out the door. Natalie could see him lingering around, waiting for Spencer. He was about to leave before Natalie spoke up.

"Spencer?" She asked softly. He simply looked into her eyes. "When this is all done and over with, do you maybe want to have dinner... with me?" Natalie couldn't believe what she was doing, asking... basically a stranger on a date. Spencer also couldn't believe it, but he quickly recovered from his small state of shock.

"Yeah, sure. I'd like that." He smiled and then headed out the door.

He felt a huge pressure being lifted off of his heart, but it was replaced by another one. What if they didn't connect like the way they had before? No. Spencer was sure that they were meant to be, no matter what happened. He felt himself growing nervous just thinking about the date, but he was eager for it to happen either way.

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_A/N: What do you guys think? It's soooo different than the version I had up before. Please let me know your thoughts! Thanks! -RA._


	2. Chapter 2

_A/N: Thanks everyone for all of the reviews! I feel I'm off to a great start already. A lot of you have said you liked the old first chapter as well, and I've been thinking a lot about it since I posted both of these... I'm definitely making this into a trilogy. As in, there will be another story after this one :) And I think I already know the perfect way to tie that old chapter in. Anyway, since I got 4 reviews already and a couple of messages, AND Crimincal Minds is on right now, I'm giving you the pleasure of another chapterrrrr :) Yay.** P.S.: Dear Derek Morgan, I wish you would stop flirting with this Tamara woman and just realize that you and Garcia are perfect together. Kaythanks.** -RA.  
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**"I won't forget you, at least, I'll try. And run, and run tonight. Everything will be alright.  
I wasn't shopping for a doll to say the least. I thought I've seen them all, but  
then you took me by surprise. I'm dreaming bout those dreamy eyes..."  
- The Killers**

The building before Natalie was a bit more old-fashioned than the other ones around it, and at the very top was, what Natalie could tell, a loft apartment. She looked at the post-it she'd been given again and then proceeded to count the floors from the outside. She grinned widely when she found that the loft was hers. After deciding to get some exercise, she trudged up seven flights of stairs and took in a deep breath before testing the door knob. When she found it unlocked, she walked inside.

She took in the appearance of the apartment. There were a couple of boxes in the living room, and Natalie figured she must have recently moved in. The walls were a deep, dark red with cream colored trimming, and there were paintings covering them. Her eyes then landed on the loft, where a king sized bed was sitting. Natalie giddily hopped up the stairs and jumped onto the middle of the bed. She bunched the cream colored, satin sheets into her arms and got a nose full of the crisp linen scent they carried. She then hugged one of the pillows and found that it held a different scent. It was a smell consisting of coffee and chocolate. She smiled while rolling onto her side, and she noticed a framed photograph on the wall. It was of Dr. Reid and herself. They're laughing, and he has his arms wrapped around her waist. Natalie is slightly covering her mouth with one hand, and the other is placed over his. She soon found herself smiling at the picture until someone cleared their throat.

She spun around to find Spencer standing at the top of the stairs. "Hello! Oh, Dr. Reid... Spencer... um, ha, this is kind of embarrassing." Natalie stood up and smoothed out her clothes. "What are you doing here?"

Spencer scratched the back of his head and let out a nervous laugh. "Um, well. I live here, actually." Natalie cocked her head. "But I'm just here to get a few things before I head back to Morgan's." Natalie's emotionless face suddenly held a look of confusion. Spencer made an inaudible 'oh' then answered her silent question. "I just figure I'd stay there until your memory came back. I thought it might make you a little more comfortable."

Natalie felt bad for shaking up his life. She couldn't imagine what this situation was doing to him. "You don't have to do that. If you lived here... with me... then that's how it'll be now."

"No, no. It's alright. Really." Spencer went to take some clothes out of the dresser across from the bed, but Natalie rushed to him and grabbed his arm softly.

"Stay," she whispered, looking deep into his beautiful hazel eyes. She wondered how many times she'd stared into them like this before, and couldn't imagine that it wasn't a lot. She adored the olive green and how the brown slightly over powered it.

Spencer couldn't help but fold to her request. He felt his heart melt at her touch, and it warmed at her whisper. He also noticed that her usual honey-colored eyes now carried small green flecks in them. They were absolutely stunning. "A-alright. I'll stay." Natalie realized she was still holding onto his arm, and she hesitantly let go of it. A sudden sadness filled her heart, and she wondered why.

"The loft is beautiful. This red is one of my favorite colors," she mentioned, fingering the wall behind the dresser. "And those paintings are brilliant. Did you do them?"

Spencer let out a small laugh. "Actually, you did them. You painted the walls as well." He rubbed his arm lightly.

"Oh, wow. come to think of it, I remember painting as a kid. I didn't know that I still do it." Natalie began playing with her dark waves. She looked around the room awkwardly. She wondered how long she'd been in this loft and how long she'd been with Spencer, if what he was saying was true. She took a seat on the bed. "Can you tell me about the day we met?"

Spencer was caught off guard by her inquiry. He slowly walked over to the bed and silently asked if he could sit next to her. Whens he nodded, he sat down, cleared his throat, and began his story. "Well, we actually met in a café about two and a half years ago. There were no other seats except the one at my table, so you asked to sit with me. Ha... I remember thinking that you were so beautiful. Maybe the most beautiful girl I'd ever seen. You weren't there long, and you left before I could ask your name." Natalie giggled softly at this. Spencer's mood lightened at the memories, and at her laugh. "Then you um, you came into my work. It turned out that you were the newest member of our team, and that you were smarter than me. I ended up getting really jealous of you, so I seemed like kind of a jerk, ha."

"Oh, I don't believe that." Spencer shrugged and half-smiled. "I was wondering about that, though. One of the receptionists at the hospital called me Agent Moriarity." She stroked her chin for a moment. "What do you mean I'm smarter than you?"

Spencer thought about how to explain for a minute. "Well, I have an IQ of 187. Yours is 190. I can read 20,000 words per minute, and you can read 21,000. I can remember everything I've read, and you can remember everything that's been _said_ to you. Well, most of the time..." Spencer looked at his hands as they began messing with the hem of his shirt. Natalie felt bad for making him feel bad. She placed a light hand on his back which caused him to jump. She quickly retracted it and placed it back in her lap, but he looked at her as if to tell her it was alright. After giving him a small nod, she placed it there once again. "After I admitted my jealousy I told you I had feelings for you and you basically rejected me, but I kept the feelings. After a few months of going back and forth, you finally told me you felt the same way. You, um..." Spencer felt tears threatening to fall as he remembered the day on the mountain. "You took me to a cabin in the Alps and finally told me you were in love with me. That's when we started dating."

Natalie felt tears forming in her own eyes as she watched Spencer rub his. If it was possible, she felt even worse now that she had physical proof of what she was putting him through. She began to gently rub his back. "I don't understand how I could forget you..." Spencer looked at her, his eyes holding a pinkish tint. She touched his face softly, and he grabbed her hand. "I'm so sorry that I'm putting you through this. I feel absolutely horrible."

"Don't. You don't have any control over this," Spencer reminded her. Suddenly, her phone began to ring. She gave a confused look as she glanced at the screen, which read "Nathaniel Moriarity."

Natalie let out a small humming sound as she answered. "Hello? Oh, yes. I'm fine. No, I remember you. Mostly. Really? Um, well, yes. I think I can do that. No, but I know someone that can tell me. Alright. I... I love you too." Natalie hesitated before she whispered the last four words. She hung up the phone and looked at Spencer. "He said he's coming in town to stay for a while with his band. They've rented an apartment in DC for a month. He wants me to stay with him..."

She looked down, not wanting to see the disappointment she knew would come over Spencer. "Oh..." he said. His voice began to crack as he continued to speak. "Well I completely understand that you'd want to stay with him. Since you remember him, you'd probably feel safer with him. Would you like me to help you pack up some things?" Natalie silently nodded, still refusing to look at him. Spencer got up, obviously already knowing where everything is, and headed to the closet. Natalie watched as he took down a large duffle bag from the shelf above him and reluctantly began packing articles of clothing into it. When he came back into the bedroom, he placed it at her feet solemnly. "Ten pairs of clothes. All of your shoes are by the door, and the bathroom is down the hallways downstairs. You know, so you can get some toiletries to take with you."

Natalie stood up and noticed that Spencer was also trying his best not to make eye contact with her. "I'm sorry, Spencer."

His head shot towards her and he quickly answered, "Don't be. I completely understand." Natalie was taken aback by his quick and short response. She let her head hang for a moment before picking up the bag. After getting him to tell her how to get to her brother's apartment, Natalie stood quietly by the door. "I guess this is it," he pondered aloud.

"For now," Natalie reminded him. He nodded and gave his most sincere half-smile. Natalie wondered if it would be appropriate to show some form of affection for him. She slowly placed a hand on his cheek and kissed the opposite one. "Thank you for helping me. I'm sure once my memory comes back, I'll be here in a second."

This made Spencer lighten up a little bit, and he nodded. "I'll see you then." He hoped it wouldn't take long before the love of his life was back in his arms again.

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_A/N: Haha, sorry for my last part of my previous memo. The beginning of this new episode just made me a little erkked. Awww, but the ending made me soooo happy, haha. Sorry, but I just love the Morgan/Garcia pairing idea :p And it is now 12:20 A.M., so you can see how long I've been writing this. So let me know what you think of the new chapter! Love, RA._


	3. Chapter 3

_A/N: This one is a lot shorter, like 700 words shorter, than all of the other chapters, mainly because it's kind of a filler. I just needed a good way to move into the next chapter. Hope you like it anyway :) And thanks so much to crystal-roses13, Quirky-Green, Nia Scarlet for the reviews of Chapter 2 :)_

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**"And all I want is to be with you again. And all I want is to hold you like a doll.  
And all I want is to be with you again, with you again.  
Just to hold you like a doll. That's all I want..."  
- The Cure**

Natalie had been having a great time living with her brother and his band. They weren't treating her like a child that didn't know anything. She hadn't met any of them previously, so she didn't feel awkward around them, like she should already know certain things. One guy in particular had taken a liking to her. Andy Butler. Over the last three weeks that Natalie had been there, he'd taken her out on a few dates, and Natalie found herself strangely attracted to him. She usually didn't like blonds, but his wheat colored curls pulled her in first. The next thing that did it was his amazingly beautiful, white smile. Finally, when she stared into his eyes, she was reminded of an ocean. The color was a mix of pure sapphire blue and emerald green.

Andy was taken in by Natalie's high intelligence, something she hadn't lost when the rest of her memory went. He hadn't met a single other girl that challenged him like she did, and still radiated so much beauty. He sat there one night, stroking her silky, multi-colored hair. He (with the help of Nathaniel) had managed to persuade her to add blond and black highlights to it. "Tell me what you've always dreamed of doing," he said to her, softly.

Natalie thought about it. She still hadn't gotten her memory back, and she wasn't even sure how to answer that question. "I'm not sure." For a moment her mind flashed to the receptionist that called her Agent Moriarity. She smiled at this.

"Oh, it's alright. Promise you'll tell me when you remember, though?" Andy asked. She nodded, still smiling and his heart did a small flip. To keep himself from blushing, he moved his eyes upward to look at the stars. He and Natalie had been lying on the roof of the band's bus, simply taking in DC at night. "I do this a lot during the summer. Just come out to stare at the sky..."

Natalie giggled. "That's interesting. You know, Corona Borealis, the Northern Crown, is visible in the northern hemisphere in the spring and summer. It's strongest this month, July. It represents the crown that Ariadne, the daughter of King Minos of Crete, wore at her wedding. Her ball of thread helped Theseus defeat the Minotaur, so he gave her the crown when they married."

Andy laughed at her knowledge and placed a hand on one of hers. "I didn't know. But that's interesting, too."

Natalie was glad that she could at least remember educational things, and she was excited that Andy didn't shun her for being too smart for anyone's good. She then remembered that someone else out there was just as smart as she was. For that brief time, her mind flashed back to Spencer Reid. She hadn't thought about him much over the last three weeks, yet she suddenly found herself wondering what he was doing.

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Spencer looked around the crowded bar and couldn't manage to find any girl that even compared to Natalie. He wondered how she was doing, what she was doing. They hadn't talked in three weeks. Though he wanted to, he never called her. He sighed and slowly took another sip of the wine sitting in front of him. "What's wrong, Spence? You're not doing what you normally do when we come to this bar: sitting in a dark corner answering trivia questions about Star Trek with the other Trekies." JJ laughed and took a seat next to her close friend.

"Just thinking about Natalie," Spencer confessed.

She nodded and rubbed his back gently. "Maybe you should go on home. Rest up a little?" JJ suggested.

Spencer downed the last of his wine and wiped his mouth with the sleeve of his button-up shirt. "What's the point? I can't sleep lately because she's all that's on my mind." JJ let her face portray the sadness she was feeling. She hated seeing Spencer like this. He sighed as a waitress took his glass. "I just want this to be over. I want her to come back to me. I want to be able to hold her all night and then wake up to her in the morning like I did before. I want to smell the mango scent her shampoo leaves in her hair." Spencer rested his chin in his hand. "I just want her to remember."

"We all do, Spence. We all miss her and want her to come back to work. But I know this is extremely hard for you..." JJ tried her best to console him, but nothing seemed to be working.

"I'm sorry. I'm ruining your fun. I think I will head home." With that, Spencer left without a goodbye to anyone.

When he got home he laid down on his stomach in the bed too large for himself alone. He smelled the coffee and chocolate scent that was left on his pillow, and sighed at himself. After pushing his pillow aside, he grabbed the one Natalie normally used. The smell of mango infiltrated his nostrils. He sighed once again and pushed that pillow away as well. It just wasn't the same as smelling it in person.

He stared at the ceiling. A skylight above him let him see the stars, and he wished it was Winter. He and Natalie spent many a night last Winter staring up at the sky. She only liked to watch the constellations at that time of year. He remembered how she said it just made the holidays seem even better. That there was nothing to make better in the summer. "No. There isn't anything special about the summer. Not when Natalie isn't here, anyway..." Spencer said out loud, to nothing and no one.

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_A/N: Like I said, mainly a filler. The next chapter is where things get interesting, though! Love, RA._


	4. Chapter 4

_A/N: Sorry for the wait! I was having SERIOUS writer's block for the beginning of this chapter. Knew where I wanted to go, just didn't know how to get there, haha. And it's also pretty short, but it's also a filler. I'm REALLY excited for the next chapter, because there's some confrontation! And thanks to Nia Scarlet, spiffylgirl, and Quirky-Green for reviewing! And a special thanks to animebooklover14 for reading ALL of RMM and BMN in one day! And then reviewing! Hehe :)_

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_**"And the girl on my shoulder told me, 'Everything's gon' be alright.' And everything  
was gonna be alright. Buried her deepest sigh. Stars don't clear my eyes.  
Now she's got a boyfriend, and I've got a rockband."  
- Boys Like Girls**

Another three weeks went by. Natalie was supposed to have gotten her memory back within a month, but she still hadn't. Spencer continued to wait and continued to hope, knowing nothing of what Natalie was doing. She'd actually been continuing to have an amazing time with her brother's band, and an amazing time with Andy.

"You know, it's your birthday in a couple of weeks," Nathaniel told his sister as they walked through a small park.

"I do know. I remember that." Natalie smiled. "I'll be... 21, right?"

Nathaniel laughed. "Right. Anyway, I wanted to give you your present a little early." Nathaniel took a small, but thick book out of the back pocket of his distressed skinny jeans. "Here."

Natalie smiled widely as she took the book from him. She quickly wiped at the cover to reveal the title. Edgar Allen Poe: The Complete Works. Natalie stopped in her tracks. Could it be? She remembered reading The Tell-Tale Heart in the coffee shop. She remembered Annabelle Lee on the painting she gave Spencer for Christmas. She remembered Spencer reading Poe at the cabin. Suddenly, every memory Natalie had lost rushed into her mind. "I remember..." she whispered.

"What?" Nathaniel looked at her, confused.

"I remember. I remember, Nathaniel!"

Natalie shoved the book back at him and took off running down the street. She caught a cab that quickly took her back to the loft, and she hoped that Spencer was there, waiting for her. Natalie had such an adrenaline rush that she ran up all seven flights of stairs. After bursting through the front door, Natalie frantically looked around the apartment.

Spencer came running down the hallway, confused about the noise. "Natalie? What-"

Before he could finish, Natalie tackled him into a hug. As they fell to the ground, Natalie excitedly told Spencer, "I love you!" She pulled back and examined his face.

Even more confusion set in, but then, Spencer's face lit up. "Natalie?"

"It's me Spencer. All of me. I remember everything." Natalie beamed at him. "I can't believe everything that's happened," Natalie said as she got off of him.

They traveled to the couch where Spencer wrapped Natalie in his arms. "I'm so happy you're here. The loft's been so lonely without you around. I've been so lonely without you around." They both laughed at Spencer's statement. "But really. I've never missed someone so much. Everybody at work will be so happy to hear you're back to normal."

"And I can't wait to get everything back on track." Natalie let Spencer nuzzle into her neck, but she quickly pulled back. "I need to tell you something though. About when I was with Nathaniel and his band..." Natalie was sure that Spencer wouldn't like what he was about to hear, but she knew she had to tell him.

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Nathaniel entered the apartment to find everyone sleeping. Andy was the only one awake, and he was sitting on the couch, eating cereal and watching Not Another Teen Movie. "Hey, Nate," he greeted. He cocked his eyebrows. "Where's Natalie?"

Nathaniel sighed and slumped towards the couch. "She remembered," he stated simply.

Andy stopped eating and tore his eyes from the TV. "She... so... she's gone?" Nathaniel nodded. "Where?" Andy could feel a small piece of his heart breaking. Even though they only spent 6 weeks together, he'd grown to really care for Natalie.

"She didn't say. Just kind of ran off. My best guess is that she went back to the loft where-" Nathaniel stopped himself. He'd forgotten that Spencer was never mentioned before.

"Where, what?" Andy questioned, wondering what Nathaniel was keeping from him.

He sighed deeply before replying, "Where her boyfriend live..." Nathaniel slowly turned to look at Andy with an apologetic expression.

Andy seemed frozen. "B-boyfriend?" It was all he could manage to get out. Too many thoughts were going through his head.

"Yeah, man. I'm sorry. I guess I was so focused on trying to help Natalie remember the little things that... I forgot to mention that one, big thing," Nathaniel explained.

Andy put his bowl on the coffee table and trudged into the back bedroom. He collapsed onto the bed, thinking about Natalie and her boyfriend. He wondered if he would ever be able to meet him, and he hoped that Natalie was truly happy with him. He also thought about the fact that now, instead of a gorgeous girl, he was back to being stuck with four dirty, horny guys.

* * *

"But... nothing serious. Right?" Spencer wanted to make sure that Andy wasn't a threat to their relationship.

"Right. Spencer, he could never mean as much to me as you do. I don't think anyone could," Natalie assured him. She placed one of her small hands on one of his big and thin ones. "I just hope that you know how much you mean to me."

"Of course I do," Spencer told her. "I love you more than anything and anyone. I know you feel the same."

"Good. Now, I don't know how you'll feel about this, but... I'm pretty sure that my brother and the guys are taking me out for my birthday. I really want you to be there. Will you come? Please?" Natalie gaze into her boyfriend's eyes.

Spencer thought about it for a second. He knew it would make her happy, but he wasn't sure that he wanted to meet this Andy guy. After wrestling with his thoughts for a period of 45 seconds, Spencer replied, "Of course. Anything for you."

"Oh, Spencer, I love you so much!" Natalie gushed as she tightly hugged him. Spencer hoped that he could handle it.

* * *

_A/N: I'm soooooooo sorry if it sucks. I wrote this over the course of the last hour, (from 1 A.M. to 2 A.M.) and my brain's farting on me. I've been up since 10 A.M. Oh, and I might not be updating for a few days because for the next three days I'm in Downtown ATL filming a movie with Bow Wow and Ice Cube! And I'm working 13 hour days, so I won't be on as much. I'll be sleeping if I'm not filming, ha. But I'll get one up ASAP! :) Love, RA._


	5. Chapter 5

_A/N: So I'm totally diggin' this chapter, but the NEXT one is one of my favorites of the whole story! Already wrote it. So tired from filming, but I'm putting this up for you guys :) P.S.: Snow 2 is on, and the dude lost his memory. How coincidental! Hehe. Anyway, I'm a dork. Enjoy!_

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**"No one else figures out this feeling and how lonely it can get. These words  
can cut right through, cause all along I've known you're sorry.  
But you haven't said it yet****."  
- Mayday Parade**

Spencer slipped the last box into the hall closet as Natalie put the red, black, and white dishes that it contained into cabinets. "I'm so glad we finished unpacking," she mentioned loudly, so Spencer could hear her.

He closed the closet door, and made his way into the small kitchen. "I am too. Now we're officially all moved in."

"Yes we are, and it only took us five months to do it." Natalie finished putting the last dish in the cabinet as Spencer wrapped her into a tight hug from behind.

It had been five months since Natalie's memory had come back, and the couple was happier than ever. Work had been going great; no one had gotten injured in months. As far as Spencer was concerned, everything was going right. "So I've been thinking..." Spencer nuzzled his head into her neck. "I think it's time for you to do something you haven't done in a while..." Natalie turned around and wrapped her arms around his neck while giving him a look to go on. "We should drive to work today. As in you drive."

"What!? No." Natalie pulled away from Spencer as he laughed. She looked at him as if he was insane.

"Come on, Nat! We live kind of out of the way now, and I won't always be around to drive you where you need to go. I mean, what if I go to visit my mom, or you go off to visit Gideon or Nathaniel? You can't just not drive forever," Spencer explained. He traveled across the kitchen to grab an apple off the counter and begin pouring coffee into two styrofoam cups.

"But I don't wannaaaaa!" Natalie whined, dragging out the 'a'.

"Natalieeeee," Spencer mock-whined.

Natalie crossed her arms until Spencer walked back over and handed her one of the cups. He dangled the keys in front of her face. After continuing her stern look for another minute, Natalie sighed. "Fine," she mumbled, grabbing the keys. They capped their coffee cups, grabbed their bags, and headed out the door. Once the elevator brought them to the lobby of their building, the couple headed out front, and Natalie slowly climbed into the front seat. "Okay, don't laugh at me. I haven't driven since I was sixteen." Spencer laughed and slipped on his seatbelt, making sure it was secure, before Natalie turned the key and started the car.

Spencer put a shaky arm around Natalie as they entered the bullpen. She didn't do horribly at driving, but she wasn't a pro. He spent most of the ride fearing for his life, and she'd almost ran into three cars. Park ones. "Hey guys," he started, shakily. "Guess who drove us here this morning!" He then beamed, not wanting Natalie to know he'd been scared.

They stood, open-mouthed at Natalie's feat. "_Anyway_, that's not important. Let's get to work."

As the team headed into the conference room, Emily pulled on Natalie's arm so that they could lag behind the group. "So are you coming out tonight?"

Natalie looked at her, confused. "What?"

"Nathaniel and I are going out tonight with the band. He didn't invite you?" Emily wondered.

"No... actually, I forgot he was even coming in town. But I do recall him saying something about being here to be with you for the holidays," Natalie remembered.

Emily made an inaudible 'oh'. "Well, you and Spencer should come!" Emily headed into the conference room first.

Natalie stopped to think. "I wonder if we should. Spencer probably doesn't want to meet Andy. And he probably won't have anything in common with anyone. I don't know..." The truth was, that Natalie had been keeping in touch with Andy. Andy was always the one to start conversations with Natalie, and she didn't exactly want to ignore him. She hadn't told Spencer, because she knew he would probably freak out. She did want to tell him; she just wasn't sure how.

There was no new case, so Spencer and Natalie headed home. After spending an hour reading together, Natalie got up to make dinner. She began to cook, and was reminded of that night's plans by a text message from Emily. "Hey, Spencer?" She called his name so that he could hear her.

Spencer adjusted himself on the couch after pulling his long legs onto it. "Yeah?"

"I was wondering something. My brother and the guys are coming back in town for another month, you know, for the holidays. He wants to be with Emily and all that. They're all going out tonight, just to hang out, and Emily's invited us. Do you want to go?" Natalie questioned. She wasn't exactly sure what answer she even wanted.

Spencer on the other hand, wanted to say no. He figured that Natalie wanted to spend time with her brother, though, and he wanted her to be happy. "Um, yeah. We can do that."

Natalie furrowed her brow. She couldn't tell if he was being genuine or not without seeing his face. "Are you sure? I mean, I know you probably don't want to meet Andy, ever. I just don't want you to be uncomfortable."

"No, we can go. Honestly, I'll be fine," Spencer lied.

"Well, alright then." Natalie bought into it. Spencer sighed, partially in relief, and partially in anxiousness.

Natalie wasn't prepared when she stepped into the club that night. Her eyes frantically searched the entire place, without Spencer's knowledge. "I'm going to get us some drinks. I'll find you," Spencer told her, and she simply nodded.

She traveled slowly through the large crowd of people, still not spotting Andy. Once she found the table Emily was sitting at, which happened to be all the way in the back of the club, she was eagerly pulled into the booth. "Natalie! I'm so glad you came out. I didn't want to be the only girl here," Emily spilled. Natalie laughed as her eyes continued to search for Andy among the crowd, but she still didn't find him.

"He's not here," Nathaniel said as he appeared on the other side of Emily, knowing exactly who Natalie was looking for. He wrapped an arm around Emily's shoulders.

Natalie let out the breath she'd been holding. "Oh, good. Good. I don't think Spencer should meet him just yet. Where is he?" she wondered.

"Don't know. He just left without leaving a note or saying anything to anyone. I'm sure he'll be back tonight, though." Natalie nodded silently. She then looked around and spotted Spencer making his way over to the table they were at, two drinks in hand. The three quickly hushed themselves, and pretended they weren't just talking. "Spencer, my man. How have you been?" Nathaniel asked as Spencer took a seat next to Natalie.

He smiled widely, and slipped his arm around her waist. "It was rough for me for a while there, but I've been amazing since Natalie came back. Thanks so much for taking care of her while her memory was gone."

"Oh, no problem at all!" Nathaniel flashed a thousand-watt smile. "Anything to help out my little sis."

The entire group spent the night drinking, dancing, and telling stories. By midnight, everyone was wasted, save for Emily, Spencer and Natalie. They'd learned to control their drinking since they could be called into work at any moment. By one, the group decided to go back to the band's apartment, and Natalie was thankful that Andy hadn't shown up at the bar. She was hoping that he wouldn't show up at the apartment either, but unfortunately her wish didn't come true. When they walked in he was right there, watching TV on the couch.

"Natalie..." Andy said quietly as he quickly stood up. He took a small step forward and wondered if it would be alright to hug her. When she came to him, he opened his arms to accept the small, awkward hug she gave him. "H-how are you?"

"I'm well. Thanks." As everyone dispersed, Spencer cleared his throat. "Oh, Andy, this is my boyfriend, Spencer. Spencer, this is... Andy."

Natalie looked away as the two men stared at each other. "Hello," Spencer greeted icily.

"Hey," Andy returned, just as coldly.

Natalie looked back in time to find them glaring at each other. "Um, Spencer! Let's go outside, onto the balcony, yes?" Natalie almost pushed Spencer out of the room.

She secretly sent Andy an apologetic look and received a small smile from him in return. Andy was tired of getting apologies from Natalie. She'd been giving them to him for five months. He just wanted her to see that he was the right choice for her. He wanted her to realize that _he _was the one she should be with. It was just hard trying to find the right way to show her.

* * *

_A/N: Loving, loving, loving the way this story's going. What I'm loving even more, though, is where it will end up!_


	6. Chapter 6

_A/N: SO! Like I said, this is one of my favorite chapters! I feel so bad posting this after Spencer was SO amazing in this week's episode, haha. Anyway, the song I used a little bit into this chapter is really one by Mayday Parade, but I thought it fit in well with the story :) You should look it up cause it's awesomeee. But yeah, enjoy!_

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**"Santa, you bitch. Didn't get a damn thing from my Christmas list.  
All I got was this broken heart, and That's it. Santa, you bitch.  
There's only one thing that I truly wish..."  
- The Maine**

"But why? Why can't it just be me and you tonight?" Spencer asked Natalie as she drove them down the street.

She sighed as she turned the wheel. "Because it's my birthday, Spencer. I want to spend it with everyone I love. You and I spend time alone together every day. Is that not enough?"

"No, it's enough, but—"

"Besides," Natalie said, cutting him off. "Christmas Eve is in two days. We'll have all day that day and the next day to be together."

Spencer sighed. "I know. Alright."

Spencer was dreading that night. It was Natalie's 21st birthday, and they were going out to her favorite club with the team. Unfortunately, Nathaniel and his band were also coming out to play a set for her, and that obviously included Andy. After meeting him, Spencer wasn't looking forward to seeing him again. He couldn't stand being around Andy because he knew that Andy was everything he, himself, wasn't.

Natalie knew Spencer didn't want to be around Andy, but she wanted to be. Spencer had been picking so many fights with her lately, most of them about Andy. He would constantly pick at the things she did, things he used to love that now seemed to annoy him. Natalie was hurt and couldn't figure out why he'd changed, but talking to Andy helped her escape the emotional turmoil for a little while.

They walked into the club, and Natalie immediately heard her brother's voice echoing through the building. She smiled widely as she let her eyes wander toward the stage on the opposite side of the room. There he was, jumping across the stage and whipping his long dark hair around. When he spotted her, he smiled and returned to the middle of the stage. "Alright guys, we're going to take a short break!" He hopped off the stage, grabbing a bottle of water in the process, and made his way through the crowd to Natalie. "Sissy!"

Natalie pulled back before Nathaniel could hug her. "Uh-uh! No! No putting your sweaty body on me!" This order cause Spencer and Nathaniel to laugh.

He put his hands up. "Fine, fine. Come on, I think your friends are already here."

Nathaniel led them back to a large booth that had a great view of the stage. The entire team was already sitting at the table, and Nathaniel took his usual seat next to Emily. "Hey! Happy birthday, Kid!" Morgan somewhat shouted over the music. There were presents placed in the middle of the table.

"No more of this 'kid' nonsense! People are no longer considered kids after the age of seventeen, Derek." Morgan smirked at her. "So!" She clapped her hands together. "Who's going to buy me my first legal drink!?" Each member of the team bought Natalie a shot. She made sure to pace herself, but she began to feel the alcohol taking effect after only four of them.

Nathaniel excused himself so that the band could continue their set. After playing four songs, Nathaniel introduced their final number. "Alright! You guys have been awesome! We're going to end our set with a new song we wrote. Actually, our guitarist Andy wrote the lyrics! It's called 'If You Can't Live Without Me, Why Aren't You Dead Yet'!" They launched into the song, and Spencer shot Natalie a small look. She shrugged and returned to watching the band.

"Baby, I sorely miss the vibrant gleam that's in your eyes. I'll write a song about it, and maybe if the melody's just right, I hope tonight it will find you, it will remind you. But what's holding me back is the thought of time we never had. My world's hanging by three words that I can't bear to say. When you hear this chorus, do you miss the way the world was spinning for us? Do you hurt the way that I do? After all this time, you leave me broken. This song is every word I left unspoken. When you hear this, girl, I'm hoping that you think of us, that you think of us.

Baby, I told myself that I'll be fine, but it's a lie. I don't want to talk about it. Memories, oh they cut like knives. Deep inside I'm falling. Baby, catch me if you can. What's holding me back is the thought of time we never had. My world's hanging by three words that I can't bear to say. When you hear this chorus, do you miss the way the world was spinning for us? Do you hurt the way that I do? After all this time, you leave me broken. This song is every word I left unspoken. When you hear this, girl, I'm hoping that you think of us. Baby, I sorely miss the vibrant gleam that's in your eyes..."

Natalie quickly downed the last three shots sitting in front of her during the song. She already knew who it was about, and she could tell from Spencer's stern expression that he did, too. Unfortunately, she couldn't offer him any explanation for it. Truthfully, she didn't want to. Natalie loved the song and that Andy would write something especially for her. It meant a lot to her.

As the guys in the band made their way over, Spencer stood up to confront Andy. "Excuse me, Andy. But... What was that?"

Andy gave Spencer a look that held confusion and cockiness all in one. "What was what?"

"The song."

Natalie stood up and grabbed onto Spencer's arm tightly. She stood on her tip-toes so that her mouth could be next to his ear. "Spencer, just let it go. Please."

"Look, man. It was just a song I wrote. No big thing." Andy was being cool about the situation, but Spencer was becoming more worked up by the minute.

"Yeah, it was just a song. A song about Natalie, though. Don't even try to lie about it." Spencer felt his cheeks and ears growing hot. It was partially from the heat in the club and partially from secret embarrassment.

"Spencer!" Natalie called incredulously. She spun him around quickly. "What are you doing!?"

Spencer sighed. "You know what, just forget it." He stormed out of the club with the entire group staring after him.

"I'm really sorry guys, but I need to go..." Natalie quickly ducked out before anyone could ask any questions.

* * *

When she found Spencer he was sitting alone in complete darkness in the loft's living room. "What is your problem?" Natalie questioned, annoyed, as she slammed the door shut. Spencer sat in front of her in silence. The only noise in the loft was his heavy breathing. "Spencer." He still didn't answer her. "Spencer!"

Natalie walked over to the couch and Spencer's head shot up. "I'm so sorry, Natalie." Confusion sank in as Natalie took in his even messier than normal hair and his bloodshot, watery eyes. She looked around him, he'd removed his coat and only one of his sleeves was rolled up. She spotted a tiny bottle on the table.

"What is this?" Natalie questioned quickly, picking the bottle up to examine it. Spencer only began to let tears fall. "Dilaudid? Spencer, why do you have this?"

He let a few sobs escape his mouth. "I-I-I've had it for a long time. I n-never got rid of it."

Natalie refused to step closer to him. She hated seeing him like this, and she didn't even believe the person sitting in front of her could be Spencer. "So this is why you've been acting so ridiculous lately. How long have you been using this?" Natalie inquired sternly and softly, scared of the answer.

Spencer rubbed his eyes forcefully and sniffed loudly. "S-since the night I met A-andy." Natalie wasn't sure of where to go from there. She simply stood rooted to her spot, unable to move or speak. "Natalie... Natalie please, I'm sorry." He stood up and slowly moved toward her, but she stepped back. Spencer stopped in his tracks, hurt coming onto his face.

"I... just don't understand why you would do this," Natalie said, even softer than her previous words.

Spencer sniffed again. "There's no excuse. But I just started feeling so insecure after meeting Andy, and I started to re-live my high school years. I just started thinking of all of the bad things that I haven't thought about since we met. It's so hard for me..." Spencer gulped harshly. "I'm not making any sense!" He threw his hands up in defeat as he retreated back to the couch. "I'm... inconsiderate."

"Yes. Very," Natalie choked out. She shook off whatever had been holding her back and slowly moved toward the couch. Spencer, with hope filling his face, stood up to meet her. She placed both of her palms on his chest and felt his heart beat. It was the fastest she'd ever felt it beating before. Her hands slowly moved across his body until they linked behind his back. She softly pressed her forehead to his chest and sighed as Spencer hesitantly placed his hands on her back. "I love you, Spencer—"

"Oh, God. Natalie, I love you too. I'm so sorry, I—"

"Let me finish." Natalie then pulled herself out of his arms. "I love you, Spencer. But I can't be with someone so emotionally unstable. You're not the Spencer Reid I fell n love with, and... I'm sorry, but I just can't be here..."

With that, Natalie left the loft. Spencer stood in that spot for almost ten minutes before Natalie's departure really set in. He couldn't believe that he'd been so stupid. He ruined the best thing that he had in his life, and now he had no idea how to fix it.

The next day, Spencer went into work hoping to see Natalie there, but unfortunately her desk was empty. When he'd asked why she wasn't there, Hotch informed him that Natalie was taking a leave of absence, and that he wasn't sure when she was going to come back. They were bringing in someone to replace her after the holiday. The holiday. "Great. Some Christmas this is going to be..." Spencer said to himself as he slumped down in his chair.

* * *

_A/N: Favorite Spencer quotes of this episode: "What's Twilight?" and "What's BFF?" Hahaha. He's so deliciously oblivious 3_ _Let me know what you think! - RA_


	7. Chapter 7

_A/N: Just a short filler before I go to work. The next part will be up when I get home tonight :) Hope you enjoy, and let me know what you think!_

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**"Sit back and tell me why I'm so prone to this. Do you think  
I'm fond of getting you and letting you down?  
And I'll get mine soon..."  
- We The Kings**

One day seemed like one week. One week seemed like two. Two weeks seemed like a month. A month? Well, that seemed like a year to Spencer. A year he spent without Natalie. In truth, the amount of time that had gone by was half of a year. He hadn't slept very much in those six months because he was too busy thinking about Natalie. To his teammates, he looked as if he hadn't left the house the entire time, _except_ for work. That was true.

On one particular Friday morning, it was worse. Spencer hadn't slept a wink all night, the third in a row, and the clothes he wore were wrinkled and stained. It was as if he just didn't care about washing them. He trudged into the bullpen, receiving stares from his friends. Ignoring them completely, Spencer made his way over the the counter so that he could slowly make himself a cup of coffee. Each new movement was more sluggish than the last, and by the time he started pouring his sugar, Spencer had fully gone into a conscious coma.

"Wow. I know you like a lot of sugar, but I didn't think it was that much," a voice said from behind him. Spencer set the sugar container on the counter, but with the way he was moving, it sounded as if it had been slammed there. He slowly turned his head to look at who had spoken to him, and he found Natalie standing there. Her half-smile faded when she saw his tired, pale face. "Spencer... you look like death."

Spencer cocked his head. Although he was surprised to see her, he refused to show any emotions. "What are you doing here?" His tone was completely emotionless, and it made Natalie uncomfortable.

"I came for a visit. I missed everyone," she told him, wondering if he would know that she meant she missed _him_, too.

_Everyone._ _What does that mean exactly? Does she miss me?_ He shook the thought from his mind and simply nodded. "Well that's nice," Spencer started, then, his tone became a bit icier. "How are things with Andy?"

Natalie flinched. She never told Spencer that when she left, she'd gone on tour with Nathaniel's band. She also never told him that she'd been dating Andy for the two months she was gone. Although, Emily knew. Natalie guess that Emily had told him, but she wasn't mad about it. "Um. Good."

Spencer could tell she didn't want to go into detail, for fear of hurting him. But she was obviously too late already. "Good."

"Have you been good?" Natalie asked, though she already knew the answer.

That questioned was the final straw for Spencer, though. How could she be so inconsiderate? He let out a small laugh. "You know, I haven't been that great, actually." His tone somewhat scared Natalie. "Do you know what going through withdrawals is like, Natalie? It's extremely hard and painful, at times. And going through it alone just makes it even worse. And... I can never seem to sleep anymore, and I hardly seem to be able to think like I used to, and the team is starting to get annoyed with my lack of commitment to them lately, I just know it. So no, I haven't been good."

Natalie looked around awkwardly, not wanting to see the look in Spencer's eye. She knew it would finish her off. She did notice the looks on the team's faces, though. Even Hotch and Rossi had come out of their offices to eavesdrop. Natalie sighed, shaking her head. "Spencer... I'm sorry," she apologized. After a short pause, she finished, "But this isn't you. So why are you acting like this?"

"Like what?" Spencer wondered, slightly offended.

"Pathetic!" Natalie told him, raising her voice just a little bit. Spencer thought for a moment, and as he did, Natalie continued. "I really wish you were giving me reasons to think that breaking up with you was the worst thing I've ever done." Natalie laughed at herself. She turned around to leave. "I'll see you guys tonight," she told no one in particular.

With that, she left the BAU, and Spencer was left in deep thought. When he finally did look around, he noticed that the team had been staring at him. They all quickly returned to what they were previously doing, and Spencer sighed. Natalie was right, like always. He'd lost to her again. Morgan appeared by his side. "You okay, kid?"

"Kid. That's exactly what I've been acting like lately, isn't it?" Spencer wondered out loud. "I'm an idiot."

Morgan patted his good friend's back. "Yeah, you are. But she knows you love her."

Spencer nodded. "I hope so."

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_A/N: Like I said, soooooo short, I know! But hush, you're getting another part tonight! ANDDDDD it's another one of my favorites of the story! Which means it'll be good 3 RA._


	8. Chapter 8

_A/N: I know I said I'd update after work last night but I fell right to sleep! Haha. Anyway, so like I said in the last part, this is also one of my favorite chapters of the whole story. I feel like I was a lot more descriptive in this chapter, mostly because I was so into the scene! Anyway, I hope you like it, because I worked reallyyyyyyy hard on it! Enjoy :)_

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**"I'll see you in my dreams, waiting to say, "I miss you. I'm so sorry."  
Forever's never seemed so long as when you're not around.  
It's like a piece of me is missing.** **"  
- All Time Low**

Over the next year or so, Natalie visited once a month. It was hard to see her happy, but that's all Spencer really wanted. He'd been taking care of himself more, and he'd managed to convinced her that he was alright without her. Then, May rolled around again, and it happened to be Memorial Day weekend. It'd be their anniversary if they were still together, and on that particular night, brown eyes stared into Spencer's own as if they could see his heart bouncing inside his chest.

Her stare was so intense that he thought he would go up in flames. After a moment, her beautiful eyes flicked away. His insides riled, and he felt as if he was in jail, with his clammy hands locked around the bars, shaking them and screaming to get out. Spencer wanted to get out of his own head and into hers. He wanted to know what she was thinking. He wanted to know if he caused her any of the emotions that she caused him, but what he wanted more than that was to get out of this friendship. He wanted more. So much more.

He could imagine it so perfectly, just like it used to be. Her lying in his arms, drifting to sleep. He'd be watching as her eyes fluttered before closing, before she fell into a deep sleep. He winced at his imagination. He knew that that would never again happen between them. "Spencer." His name. Her voice. It was magic.

"Natalie," he mimicked—it had become a little game between the two of them recently. Everyone else had labeled it as flirting, and Spencer wanted to agree, but he knew she would deny it.

A grin flashed onto her face. "Everyone else is asleep. Why aren't we?" she asked, looking to the stars.

He shrugged. "Because it's too much of a beautiful night to be cooped up inside with our eyes closed?" Spencer asked, keeping his gaze on her. Even though the sky was like a beautiful painting dotted with specks of white for the stars, he'd rather look her. She was a much more beautiful masterpiece.

A short laugh left her mouth, causing his heart to warm. "Good point. But I'm going to pass on the stars and sleep instead," she replied, walking to the sliding door. Spencer instantly followed, feeling that if she left, his heart would as well. "Are you coming?" she questioned, sliding the door open.

He nodded. "Yes. Be quiet," he reminded her. Natalie's gorgeous eyes rolled for a second, and he laughed to myself. She always secretly had a bit of an attitude that hardly anyone saw.

They walked into the living room where six bodies all lied unconsciously. Spencer wondered how many of them had passed out from the alcohol and how many had simply fallen asleep. JJ, Will, and Henry were three of the seven bodies. He imagined that Henry was the first to fall asleep, then JJ had passed out in Will's arms, and he had fallen asleep moments after. Spencer's chest constricted. He wanted that to be Natalie and him so badly. He closed his eyes tightly and opened them, looking over to her. She was tip-toeing around the bodies and sauntering over to a recliner, her still multi-colored hair flowing behind her. He followed, and when he stood beside her, she made the cutest face—a confused expression.

"This is the only free spot," she noted, pointing to the chair. People were so sprawled out across the room that there wasn't even enough space to unfold the recliner. Whoever slept there would be curled into a ball. Spencer took in a deep breath and told himself to forget about her boyfriend. He wasn't there. He was back in Los Angeles. Spencer quickly shook the thought from his mind, knowing it was wrong. Natalie plopped down to the chair. She was having conflicting emotions. She was wondering if Spencer still cared about her the way she'd never stopped caring for him, but on the other hand, she still had feelings for Andy. Her boyfriend. She shook awa her thoughts and fixed her face with a confident grin. "Unless you want to sleep on my lap, curled up to my chest," she waved her hands down at her body, "you're out of luck." She knew Spencer would become nervous after she said that.

His heart pounded, but he let his lips twitch into a smile. He slowly pulled her up, so that he could sit down, and he patted his lap. Natalie grinned and fell on top of him lightly, curling into a ball. She felt her pulse quickening as she pressed her head to his chest. She thought her heart was going to thump outside of her body, but she simply sighed and folded her hands underneath her face. Spencer swallowed hard, demanding that his body stay in control. "O-okay," he stammered, suddenly losing his cool as he spoke. "Goodnight," he told her, fighting the urge to kiss her goodnight. He wondered what she would do if he tried...

"Spencer, I can't sleep now," Natalie complained. She adjusted her body so that she would face him.

He looked at her curiously. "Why not?" he wondered, refraining from using a sweet pet name on her.

She sighed, pouting. "I don't know. This always happens lately. I'm tired, so I go to bed. Then I can't sleep. Does that ever happen to you?" she asked him.

Her cuteness bothered him. She was trying to ask him a simple question, but all he could think about was how adorable she looked. He cleared his throat. "Um. Yeah. Sometimes," he replied with a lie. Honestly, he still hardly ever slept, because he was always thinking of her. It happened every time she wasn't with him, or his in general.

She nodded. "Oh." Spencer closed his eyes and tipped his head back, hoping that he might be able to go to sleep for once. Maybe she was the one thing that could actually help him. Could the problem also be the cure? That night, he'd find out. "Spencer," Natalie called out. She patted his chest gently, causing his eyes to open quickly. "Don't go to bed yet. I want to talk with you until I can fall asleep." A playful smile decorated her lips. She missed staying up late and just talking with him.

Spencer smiled. "Alright. What's on your mind?" He asked, trying not to be too serious. He made it sound playful, like he'd always tried to do around her lately.

A wave of seriousness washed over her face. It crashed at his heart. Whatever was making her frown made him angry. "Actually, I wanted to have a serious conversation with you. Can you handle that?" Natalie asked.

Spencer sighed, feeling bad. "Yes," he replied. He didn't know how much longer he could control himself with her on his lap like that.

Natalie didn't respond for a few moments. She was thinking about how to start the conversation. Finally, she inhaled deeply and exhaled sharply. "Andy. Everything is weird between us."

Spencer tried not to gasp. The perfect couple was falling apart. "What do you mean?" he prodded.

She sighed. "I don't know. He just... he doesn't like me coming to Virginia all the time. He thinks I should be more focused on my new job."

Spencer furrowed his brow. "More like he thinks you should be focused on him," he muttered, but thankfully Natalie didn't hear him. He sighed deeply, trying to calm himself down. "You shouldn't try to please him. If you're happy here, stay here. Don't worry about what he wants." That came out wrong, but Spencer really meant it.

Natalie's eyes rolled. "He's my boyfriend. I _should_ worry about what he wants," she disagreed, shaking her head.

"Not if it makes you upset," Spencer replied.

A smile caressed Natalie's beautiful features. That's something she wanted to hear, that Spencer was still thinking about her happiness. She gently nodded and let her head fall on his chest. After a few silent moments, he realized she was asleep. Everything in his body tightened, yet he felt so at peace. He was a nervous wreck, yet he knew this was right. Natalie shifted in his arms, and he looked down at her. Without saying anything, Natalie reached for his hand and gently held it. Spencer's heart was on fire, and so was hers. She knew what she was doing was probably wrong, but it felt good to have his hand in hers again. She rubbed it and brought it to her mouth, her soft lips pressing onto his skin. Everything in his body twisted. His skin was prickling, and his heart was humming.

It all felt right, but Spencer also knew it was so wrong. She had a boyfriend. Maybe their relationship was in trouble, but she was still in a relationship. He didn't deserve to have her sleep in his arms. He didn't deserve her lips on his skin. On Natalie's side, she felt the exact same way. Shefelt like she'd been so horrible to Spencer when they first broke up, and she felt as if she no longer deserved someone as amazing as he. To both of them, it was so wrong, but... maybe that's why it felt so right. They were both used to being right—being geniuses. For once though, being wrong was being right.

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_A/N: So what do you think? I want to know how you like one of my favorites! So feedback would just be amazinggggg, jsyk :) Love, RA._


	9. Chapter 9

_A/N: Another somewhat short chapter, haha. Just another filler to get to the next awesome chapter! The next one's another favorite :) I seem to have a lot at this point in the story, haha. -RA_

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**"On the streets, such a sweet face jumping in town. In the staff room,  
the verdict is in. In a car with a girl. Promise me she's  
not your world, cause Andy, you're a star."  
- The Killers**

They were on MTV news. They were VH1 'You Oughta Know' artists. They'd had two songs on the Billboard Top 100 in the last month. Nathaniel's band was growing rapidly, so it was no surprise when they started getting offers from record labels. Natalie sat in the living room of the apartment the band owned in LA, staring at the screen of her laptop. A slideshow of pictures of her and the members of the BAU was playing, and she felt herself getting extremely nostalgic.

It had been six months since Natalie had visited; it was six months since she and Spencer had slept in the chair together. Even though she hadn't visited since then, she thought about Spencer every night, and she thought about the team all the time. Driving all over the country with her brother and the guys just didn't feel the same as flying with the team. When someone burst onto the bus, Natalie quickly shut her laptop.

"Natalie! Guess what!?" Andy asked excitedly. His eyes were as wide as a child's on Christmas day.

"What?" Natalie questioned.

Andy calmed himself slightly, taking a deep breath in and out, before answering. "We finally signed a contract with Columbia Records!"

Natalie had to fake her enthusiastic reply. "Andy, that's amazing. Congratulations!" She knew that that meant things would be even busier, and she'd probably have even less time with Andy. Although, they had been growing apart more and more lately, so she wasn't sure things would change much at all.

"Let's go out tonight to celebrate. Just me and you," Andy proposed. Natalie simply nodded before Andy told her he'd be back later and left.

She sighed and re-opened her laptop. A picture of her and Spencer flew across the screen, and Natalie ran her fingers through her long hair. Out of nowhere, her phone rang. "Hello?" she answered. "OH, hey dad. Yeah, yeah, I'm great. Yes, I'm sure." Natalie knew Gideon could already tell something was wrong. She sighed, finally deciding to 'fess up. "I just miss the team. I had a job in LA for a while, but I had to give it up when the guys went back on the road. I miss working at the BAU. I miss..." She didn't want to say his name, but Gideon already knew who she was talking about. "Yes, I do know what I should do. I'll let you know how it goes. Love you too."

That night, Andy drove Natalie into the Hollywood hills. He parked the white BMW convertible with the top down so that they could simply stare at the stars. "Dinner was great, Andy. Thanks so much for taking me out," Natalie said as she situated herself in the passenger seat.

Andy smiled. "No problem. I'm just so excited about this deal. This is really huge, Nat." Nat. He'd never called her that before, and when she heard it then, it just didn't feel right. He turned to her. "You know I love you, Natalie." After a simple nod from her, Andy continued. "I promise that this won't change anything between us."

Natalie furrowed her brows lightly. "Things have already changed between us," she whispered.

"What?"

She sighed silently to herself. "Andy, we should talk about something."

"What is it?" he wondered, worry now taking over his face and voice.

Natalie paused. For someone who's a genius, she seemed to have trouble finding the right words a lot of the time. "I'm going to take my job at the BAU back."

Andy sat straight up in his seat and continued to stare down at her. "What? Why!?"

"Andy... music is what you love. It's what you were born to do. Working with the BAU... that's what I love. I haven't felt as happy in a long time as when I would finish a case. I miss it," Natalie explained.

Andy let out a sarcastic laugh. "You miss work, or you miss Spencer?"

Natalie scoffed. "Excuse me?"

"You heard what I said," Andy told her softly, tearing his eyes from hers for the first time. Natalie felt bad for telling him she wanted to leave, but at the same time, she felt angry that Andy had said that to her. She didn't speak, though, because she knew that she actually did miss Spencer. Andy nodded. "I thought so." Without another word, he started the car.

When they pulled back into the parking lot of the apartment building, Natalie tried to apologize while Andy shut the car off. "Look, Andy, I-"

Andy held a hand up. "Natalie, I don't think you know this, but you mean the world to me. If going back to Quantico is what's going to make you happy, then I want you to go. And... if you ever feel like coming back to LA, then you know where to find me." Natalie smiled sweetly and gave hm a small kiss on his right cheek before getting out of the car.

* * *

Spencer sighed. It was just another day at the office, so to speak. He walked into the bullpen while taking a long sip of his hot coffee, which meant he wasn't watching where he was going. He ran right into someone in front of him, his coffee spilling all over his shirt. "Ah! Ugh." Spencer flicked his arms to try and get some of the coffee off of him.

"I'm so sorry. I was too busy looking dow-" The person stopped speaking when she finally saw who she'd run into. "Spencer."

"Natalie?" Spencer couldn't believe that she was standing in front of him. What he couldn't believe even more than that, though, was the fact that her old desk had all of her things on it. Was she back at work? Would it be for good this time? So many questions flew through his mind as he and Natalie stared into each others eyes. They didn't even realize that the entire team was staring at them, waiting to see what would happen next.


	10. Chapter 10

_A/N: Like I said this is yet another one of my favorites, haha :) It's like, just under twice a long as every other chapter, so forgive me for that, haha. And thanks SO much everyone for the amazing feedback! I hope you enjoy this :)_

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**"I'll take you out, though I'm hardly worth your time. In  
the cold you look so fierce, but I'm warm enough.  
Because the tension's like a fire..."  
- All Time Low**

"What are you doing here?" Spencer inquired, completely forgetting about the warm coffee all over him.

Natalie smiled nervously. "I got my job back. I missed it. I missed the team. I miss..." she stopped herself before saying something she might regret. She did want to tell Spencer how much she missed and how much she still loved him, but she wasn't sure if he felt the same after all this time. It had, after all, been almost two years since she left.

"You missed... what?" Spencer asked in a voice that came out much softer than he intended. He could hear Natalie swallow harshly, and when she simply continued to stare at him, he told her, "I missed you." Natalie's blank stare turned into a hope-filled smile.

"Really?"

Spencer nodded. "I mean, we all did," he added. Natalie's head dropped slightly, and Spencer felt the same thing happen to his heart. Was that a sign that she still felt the same way about him that he felt about her? It was always hard to tell with Natalie. "The guy who replaced you was... well he was kind of inadequate." Spencer laughed, but it came out nervous.

"Oh, right. I heard that, actually." The two stood three feet apart, avoiding each other's eyes. Spencer tugged at the shirt that clung to his body, and Natalie rocked slowly back and forth on her heels. To say it was an awkward situation would be an understatement. It had never been this hard for them to talk to each other before. She cleared her throat. "Well, I'm going to... make some... coffee?" Natalie rushed off, her eyes widening as if to ask herself why she just said something so stupid.

Spencer watched her walk away, mumbling to herself. He laughed inside his head, then looked around at everyone that had been watching them. They quickly hurried back to their own business as he finally remembered his coffee soaked shirt. He looked around the room and caught Morgan's eyes. Since Morgan was now the leader of the team, Spencer sent him a silent request for a trip home. Morgan nodded, telling Spencer he was allowed to quickly grab a new shirt and come back.

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That night the team decided to go out to a bar as a sort of celebration for Natalie's return. The awkwardness between Natalie and Spencer had lifted, and they'd talked all night. Natalie offered to walk Spencer home afterward, and when they reached the building which held the loft, they simply stood out in the late November weather, huddled side by side. They watched the clouds of their breath float up lifelessly to the sky, and they tried to make shapes out of the clouds, but neither of them were successful. Swirling around, the deformed blobs of air made it out of their eyesight until they breathed again, making new ones. It was _too_ cold to be outside; the below zero temperature was an obvious sign. But Spencer was in love, and he didn't care. The freezing temperature was fine with him, as long as Natalie was by his side.

And she was. For the first time in months, she felt truly happy. The bitter snow that flied down from the sky landed gracefully in her hair; it melted like the rest. Under the glow of an old streetlight, her skin was radiating without a blemish in sight. Her sparkling eyes pierced his own plain, dull ones, and her hair was left in tangles from dancing. She never bothered to make herself up, and that was something else Spencer loved about her. Fly-aways roamed free in the chilly air, and she shivered lightly before she spoke, "Are you tired?" She walked over to sit on one f the cold cement stairs leading into the building.

Spencer followed and noticed that her lips trembled from the cold. A pale, pink hue appeared as her teeth lightly chattered against them. Nothing but a jolt of want urged through Spencer. The want to kiss her, and the want to warm her. "No," he lied. He was sure that the faint bags under his eyes would give him away, but she smiled instead, believing his false words.

"Everyone said you hadn't been out with them in almost a year. I'm glad you came." Natalie's courteous words drifted through him as a tiny smile widened into a grin on his face.

"I'm glad I came, too," he pointed out. He grinned as he stood up from the stair. "You know, I love the snow."

"I do, too," she agreed as she followed his footsteps.

"It's amazing. I love how each little flake covers the world—"

"Not Africa, or Australia," she pointed out in a laugh.

"Well, I know. But either way, you know what I mean. It's beautiful."

"I suppose," she said. He chuckled to himself. "It wasn't the only beautiful thing here tonight, though." He looked at her, confused eyes focused on nothing but her shivering lips. Her hair was still flying freely in the air, along with the snow. Her black sweater barely hugged her, the loose parts blowing lightly, making a faded flapping sound. Her eyes were hidden by a strand of hair covering her face. Natalie brushed the piece behind her ear and smiled. "Some of the people here were beautiful too," she said.

"Yes," he agreed, instantaneously, thinking of her.

Natalie smiled at him, footsteps echoing throughout the alleyway as she made her way closer to him. She raised her left hand up in the air, catching the snowflakes. When she lowered her hand back down to eyesight, she had almost a palm full of snow. She took another step closer to him, and she was now so close that Spencer could hear her breathing. He saw her chest move gently up and down as she took each breath. The world seemed to pause as a smile grew on both of their faces. She lowered her hand again, down to her mouth. _Phew_; she blew the snow at him. It tickled his face, freezing each nerve. Spencer brushed it with the sleeve of his khaki colored peacoat, dusting each flake off.

Natalie giggled slowly as she shivered. This time it was a violent shiver, as if the cold air had finally gotten to her. Spencer undid one button on his coat, then another, and looked down at her. She had her eyes on the wall behind him, studying each brick. She was lost in her own thoughts as he undid the other buttons and pulled his arm out of the sleeve. "What are you doing!?" she exclaimed when she finally noticed his actions. "You're going to freeze!"

"Better me than you. Put it on," he said, pushing the coat towards her trembling body.

"No! Spencer, you wore a coat because you're smart. Good idea. I chose to wear to this stupid cardigan because I'm a moron. Bad idea. Why should the moron with the bad idea be warm? Keep it, please!" Natalie pleaded.

"Yeah, well you'll be a _frozen_ moron if you don't take my coat. Now," he ordered her lovingly.

She sighed loudly and grabbed the coat from his hand. _"Thanks_," she murmured. He walked past her and sat back down on the front steps of the building. She followed, almost as a dog would, and hesitantly sat down next to him. "You're coat is massive," she pointed out. Spencer feigned hurt. "I don't mean that!" she shrieked in a laugh.

"It's okay. I know what you meant." He smiled back. Natalie shifted her body closer to Spencer's. She wanted to be as close to him as she possibly could, but he couldn't tell if she wanted that, or if she simply wanted to be warm. Frankly, it didn't matter to him. He wrapped his arm around her, nuzzling his head into her hair. Mango. She wrapped her arm around his waist, hoisting him closer. Spencer swallowed the lump in his throat, bit his lip, and closed his eyes. Her touch startled him, but he wouldn't have it any other way. "So tell me, what else was beautiful besides the snow tonight?" he whispered.

"What do you think, Spencer?" she said, pulling out of his arms so that she could fully look at him.

"You," he said. He looked deeply into her eyes, awaiting her response. They kept him in place, holding so much beauty that he almost forgot that he was waiting for an answer from her.

But then she smiled. "I was thinking the same thing about you." She pulled herself back, closer than before, to his body. He kissed the crown of her head, as delicately as he could, and a shiver went through Natalie's body. It wasn't from the cold, though, because she actually felt a piercing heat flow through her from the touch of his lips. But he could feel her tremble in his arms, and he held her closer. She pushed him away for a moment, holding her head down low. A second passed, and she looked back up to him. "Spencer, there's something I've dreamt about for a long time now."

"What is it, Natalie?"

Her head fell down again, and she was looking at his thighs. This time the pause was longer. She was thinking of the right way to say and do what she was about to. Spencer waited; seven seconds had passed. Eight. Nine. Ten. Eleven. Twelve. "Can I try something?"

"Of course," he said eagerly, hoping she was about to do what _he_ wanted her to.

"Okay." She looked away for a moment, then peered back into his eyes.

Natalie removed her hands from his waist and placed one on his neck, and the other on his left cheek. She straightened her body up, leaned closer and closed her eyes, feeling her heart do a back flip inside her chest. Spencer closed his own eyes as well and leaned closer to her, waiting for what he knew was going to happen. He felt her breath tickle his lips and face. The hand that was placed on his neck stroked him gently, the other on his cheek tensed up. He'd been waiting for this for a while, and he couldn't wait any longer. The tension was absolutely killing him. He closed his mouth and went to kiss her, but she beat him to it.

Her warm lips touched his own for the first time in a long time, and all he could think was "_Finally_." After about two years, this kiss was long over due.

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_A/N: AWWWWWWWWWWWWW! That is all. -RA._


	11. Chapter 11

_A/N: I think this is the longest I've ever gone without updating, and I'm sorry! Worked the last four days, and I've been exhausted. Anyway, hope you like this one! -RA.  
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**Her body burned like a fire, and I knew I couldn't take anymore from her.  
I'm burn, burn, burnin'. Yeah, my stomach's turning.  
My heart's giving into my eyes.  
- Anarbor**

A cold shiver ran up Natalie's back, causing her to wake. Pulling up the comforter to cover her shoulders, she turned to her left to see Spencer sleeping soundly on his stomach with his face in her direction. She smiled to herself, brushing the strands of hair off his forehead. He didn't even stir from the touch; last night was pretty long for him. Slowly, she sat up in his bed, holding the blanket to her chest as she swung her legs over the end. She found Spencer's shirt, which had been thrown carelessly on the floor, and pulled it over her head before standing up. At that moment, she began to feel sick; her stomach turned and she could feel vomit rising into her throat. She ran down the stairs of the loft quickly and down the hall to the bathroom.

Falling to her knees, Natalie hovered her head over the porcelain bowl and emptied her stomach. Her throat pulled and she could feel the tears stinging her eyes; heaving her stomach out of her mouth wasn't exactly something she enjoyed doing. When she was finished, she flushed the toilet and lifted herself from the floor. She rubbed her face and rinsed her mouth out before beginning to brush her teeth with the toothbrush she had left there.

Her stomach still didn't feel right when she dragged herself to back up to the loft. He was still sleeping when she came in, but when she climbed back in bed, he slowly woke up. Spencer sighed lightly and smiled when he saw her.

"Mmm, morning," he said, his voice a little groggy. "What time is it?" He rubbed his eyes and pulled his phone out from under his pillow. "Ugh, it's 8?" Spencer closed his phone and tossed it on the nightstand. "What are you doing up this early?" He placed his hand on her cheek.

"I had to use the bathroom," Natalie told him. She didn't feel like grossing him out by telling him she threw up a few minutes previously.

"The morning ritual," he chuckled lightly, gently bringing her face closer to his. "Have I told you how beautiful you are lately?" he asked, resting his forehead against hers. She smiled and shook her head. "Good, because I'd be lying. You're absolutely gorgeous."

Spencer closed the gap between them and kissed her gently. "Well good morning to you, too," Natalie whispered before kissing him again.

Spencer smiled. Waking up to Natalie was one of his favorite things in the entire world, and being able to do it again brought a new joy to him. She'd been back in Quantico for three months, and they'd resumed living together after one. "My shirt's never looked so good," he told her as he rubbed the small of her back underneath it. Spencer laughed suddenly and ran his hand over her butt. "No panties."

"Hey!" Natalie playfully hit his chest; he laughed and kissed the top of her head. "Same old Spencer. Shy in public, and so... not, in the bedroom." Natalie and Spencer each giggled at her statement.

"Right. So, we have work in an hour," Spencer said, his hand now resting just above her knee. He groaned right before Natalie did.

She giggled. "Yeah. I need to shower."

Spencer furrowed his brow. "No. Lay with me longer."

"No!" Natalie whined, dragging out the 'o'. "I'm gross."

"Hmph. Since I have no say, then alright," he told her.

She rolled her eyes. When she was in the shower, she could feel herself getting sick again, but she blew off the feeling. She continued feeling fine until after she brushed her hair and was putting toothpaste on her toothbrush. She quickly stopped what she was doing and went to the toilet; for the second time that day, she threw up.

"Natalie? What's wrong with you?" Natalie heard Spencer ask while her head was inside the toilet. "Are you okay?" He held her hair back for her while he rubbed her back.

"I don't know," Natalie said. "I feel horrible."

"You getting sick or something? It is flu season," he informed her.

"I threw up earlier this morning, too. Maybe it could be food poisoning or something. I did try those peanuts at the bar last night."

"Oh, yeah. Not a good choice. But... I don't think peanuts would make you puke up bile," Spencer said with a disgusted look as he flushed the toilet for her.

"Well I haven't really eaten anything substantial since yesterday afternoon. Actually, just the thought of food is making me feel sick again." Natalie clutched her stomach as she sat against the wall.

"Really? Do you want me to call Morgan and tell him you're not feeling well? You know he'd let you take off if there isn't a case." Spencer started to get his cell phone out of his pocket while Natalie rinsed out her mouth.

"No. I'll be fine." She stood up and walked back up to the loft. She then plopped herself on the bed and slowly pulled on her work pants.

"Alright," Spencer finally said. He shifted his weight onto his left leg, then sniffed quickly. "You know what? I'm going to go to the store really quick to pick up a few things for you. I'll be back in fifteen minutes. You going to be ready by then?" he wondered. He didn't wait for an answer before hurrying out of the room.

The rest of the day went by uneventfully. There wasn't a new case, and Natalie hadn't felt sick again, thankfully. She even managed to eat without feeling nauseous. When she got home, however, she received a text message from Andy. It was the first contact he'd made with her since she'd left. He wondered if he could come see her, to make sure that she was happy, like she should be.

"So... what do you think?" Natalie questioned Spencer, nervously twisting a bunch of her straightened dark hair.

He thought about it. Seeing Andy would definitely not make him happy, but he knew it would mean a lot to Natalie. She just wanted to show Andy that everything was alright, and that Spencer was truly making her happier than she had previously been. "Alright."

"Really?" Natalie said, half excitedly and half nervously.

"Really." Spencer wrapped her in a tight hug as she squealed. "We can just make it into a house warming party, I guess. We never had one."

Natalie smiled and nodded into his chest. "That sounds perfect."

Two weeks later, everything was set. "When is everybody coming down?" Natalie asked, referring to the little house-warming party they had planned with JJ's help.

Spencer furrowed his eyebrows, making his way over to her. "Five-ish," he answered, greeting her by wrapping his arms around her waist. She nodded and let her head fall to his chest. "You seem upset," Spencer noted. Natalie pulled away to look in his eyes.

"I'm just tired," she admitted, yawning. Spencer sighed. Natalie always seemed to be tired lately, even though they usually got at least 8 hours of sleep.

"If you want to post-pone the party, it's okay, Nat," he replied, holding her closer as a strong gust of cold wind passed by.

"No," she replied. "It's okay."

In an hour or so, they could expect to see the entire BAU team at the loft for the first time. She could also expect Andy. He told them he'd be dropping by around midnight with a surprise.

Natalie was scared to see Andy. She hadn't seen him since that night he took her out to celebrate the record deal. The day she had chosen Spencer over him; the day she had broken Andy's heart once again. Even though she was told that Andy was doing much better and that he had bounced back quickly, she was still worried to see him. Nathaniel had promised her that Andy was doing fine, but the thought of seeing him and catching a glimpse of sadness scared her. Although she was happy with her choice, she still hated hurting people.

Spencer nodded. "I'm so glad you came back to me," he mumbled, swaying their bodies together. Natalie smiled, feeling her heart squeeze.

"Me too," she agreed. She pulled away and gently pressed her lips to Spencer's and totally forgot about Andy.

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_A/N: In the next one some interesting stuff happens. And by interesting, I mean confrontational. You'll love it :) -RA._


	12. Chapter 12

_A/N: Oh my Goddddd. Sorry about the long wait! Work has been insane lately, ha. But here it is! And the next one is another one of my favorites :) Anyway, here ya go!_

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**"Breaking off the past, you'll know when to move on.  
You'll know when to take all the right chances,  
never looking back."  
- The Academy Is...**

Everything was running smoothly. Spencer and Natalie were huddled together over a half-empty bottle of champagne out on the balcony. Will was chasing Henry around the living room; Will's laughing and Henry's joyous screaming was echoing throughout the loft. Andy hadn't shown yet, but thanks to the champagne, that wasn't bothering Natalie. She hadn't even thought of him.

Spencer sat down and pulled her into his lap. She stared inside and watched the scenes. Everybody there was so happy. Hotch and Rossi smiled and talked in hushed tones about some old times. Morgan and Garcia were giggling together while JJ and Will—the somewhat innocent, cute couple—held onto each other as if their lives depended on it. Then there was Spencer and Natalie—the couple that had such a painful, ridiculous history together that nobody knew about except them and Emily. Everyone had gushed over how cute Spencer and Natalie were together, but would they say the same thing if they knew their past? Neither of them were sure.

Spencer brought her out of her thoughts by kissing the bridge of her nose. She smiled and held his body closer. Just before she went to kiss his lips, he pulled away. His eyebrows furrowed and his gaze locked to the door. He took a few steps away. "Someone's at the door," he mumbled before jogging inside the house.

Natalie shrugged it off and walked inside to join everyone else. She walked up behind JJ and Will; they were still holding onto each other, the adorableness suffocating Natalie. She cleared her throat. Nobody budged. "A_hem_," she laughed. They looked to her with wide eyes.

"Sorry," JJ giggled before they all shared a quick laugh. "C'mon, let's go finish off that champagne," she suggested before strutting over to where the champagne was. Natalie followed, motioning for Garcia to do the same.

JJ reached for the champagne bottle and pulled herself a glass first. Garcia held both hers and Natalie's glasses up while JJ filled them with the bubbly liquid. They did a mini-toast for no reason, and laughed as they chugged the drinks down in a very un-ladylike manner. Garcia wiped her mouth dry with the back of her hand and smiled. Natalie forgot how much fun these girls were.

After a minutes or two, Natalie knitted her perfectly shaped eyebrows, thinking. "I wonder who's at the door," she wondered aloud. They didn't have to wonder much longer though, because Andy appeared through the door—with a woman of short stature at his side.

She was short, much shorter than Natalie and much _much_ short than Andy, but nonetheless their fingers were entwined. Andy's nervous eyes darted around the backyard as the girl next to him scuttled closer to his body. She wore her hair short; it rested just past her jaw line. It was bleached a bright blonde color, offsetting her blue-green eyes. Just like Andy's. Natalie ignored the stare the girl was giving her and forced herself to look at Andy. His eyes were burning into her own.

Spencer came out from behind them after closing the door quietly. While everyone else deserted Natalie to fawn over Andy and the mystery girl, Spencer darted over to her. He surprised her with a giant hug, and for a second, Natalie squeezed his body so tightly that Spencer almost yelped. Immediately, Natalie let go, silently apologizing.

Spencer gave her an odd look once she pushed away. "It's okay, Nat," he told her as her gaze slipped to Andy and the girl by his side. Their fingers weren't laced anymore, but their relationship was still obvious to her.

Spencer let her leave him once she finished her champagne, and she quickly walked over to Andy. "Hi," she greeted them with a strong voice.

Andy smiled. "Hey," he responded in a calm voice. A grin decorated Natalie's face.

She looked over to the girl beside him. She soon found out that the girl's name was Jenny, and she was Andy's new girlfriend. They'd only been dating for about three weeks, but they were starting strong. Andy was fine after her. She felt her heart warm up and she smiled. Andy was truly happy with another person—something he swore would never happen. And she was truly happy with Spencer.

Spencer startled Natalie by wrapping his arms around her waist, and she noticed a look of jealousy and hurt come across Andy's face for a moment. He began chatting with JEnny, making small conversation just to be nice. Then, Morgan came running over to them with a smile. He interrupted Spencer and Jenny's conversation to go on about an amazing football game he'd seen.

Natalie rolled my eyes and began to walk away. Football bored her more than anything else ever could. Spencer followed, lacing his fingers with hers. At first, Natalie's heart was warm with emotions, but then she remembered Andy's face when Spencer had his arms around her. She ripped her hand out of his and stomped away. How could Spencer be so inconsiderate? He gave her an odd look and followed. He grabbed onto her shoulders, stopping her. "What's wrong?" Spencer asked, narrowing his eyes.

"Spencer, did you not see how Andy felt when you were basically rubbing up against me?" she sneered. She shifted my weight to one side and crossed her arms over my chest, guessing that the acohol was making her more agitated than normal.

Spencer's eyes burned with light anger, but he quickly calmed himself down. "He has a girlfriend. He shouldn't be jealous of us."

"He's obviously going to be jealous, though! He was in love with me..." Natalie whisper-shouted. She sighed, trying to calm herself down. She looked around and noticed that Morgan and Garcia were watching them.

Spencer's jaw set tight. "Are we _really_ going to have the first fight of our new relationship here at our house-warming party?" he asked her, pinching the bridge of his nose.

He was right. That wasn't the time or place to fight. Natalie took in a few deep breaths, looking around. Andy's eyes were also glued to them, watching as they fought. She wondered if he knew he was the reason. "I'm getting a drink," she mumbled as she pushed passed Spencer.

Natalie had hovered around the party after that, but mostly kept to herself. She hadn't spoken to Spencer since they fought, and she wondered what would happen between them when everyone left. Would he apologize? She shook her head and pushed the thoughts back. People were already starting to leave—she would find out soon enough.

She was standing alone near the sliding door. Her eyes managed to wander over to Andy and Jenny, but she found Andy alone, walking toward her. His face was painted with seriousness. He was at her side before she could count to ten. "Natalie, there's only one reason I came here tonight," he admitted, his voice low and gruff. He sighed, slumping his shoulders. "I wanted to make sure you're happy."

"I am," she replied after a moment.

Andy smiled. He looked her in the eyes and his smile wilted into a frown. "Your eyes. They're different."

Natalie furrowed her eyebrows. "What do you mean?" she asked, puzzled. She hadn't noticed anything different about her eyes.

"They're still brown," he responded, his tone confused as well. His thick eyebrows were knitted. "But it's a different brown. I've never seen it before. Your eyes are usually that beautiful glowing honey color."

_Beautiful glowing green_. The words sailed around her mind on repeat. "Wh-what do they look like?" She managed to stammer out.

"They're... kind of the color of peanut butter. There's no shine to them," Andy answered, setting his gaze directly on her eyes as if he could penetrate through them.

She nodded. "I wonder what it means," she said quietly. Andy then ripped his gaze off of hers and focused in across the loft. She followed his stare and found Spencer, laughing with JJ.

"Well," Andy said loudly after a few moments. "Jenny is bothering me to leave. I'll see you around, Natalie." He cocked a grin at her.

Natalie almost thought he would hug her. She almost thought _she _would hug _him_. But nothing happened. He walked over to Jenny, surprised her with a hug, and announced they were leaving. Spencer watched as Andy left with his new girlfriend. He hoped that once he was alone with Natalie, everything would be alright again.

* * *

_A/N: I know it wasn't the best chapter :( But this story's going to become case-related soon! Yeeeee :)_


	13. Chapter 13

_A/N: Just a short filler before the next chapter. Enjoy!_

* * *

**"I'm climbing the walls. I'm searching for answers.  
The gears in my mind are turning like dancers.  
I'm trying to find the words, but I just can't speak."  
- The Downtown Fiction**

Spencer hunched over on the couch in the living room, a position he was used to by now. He and Natalie had just gotten in their first fight of their new relationship, and Spencer had no idea how to deal with it. He'd never been in this kind of situation before. He didn't know what to do. Natalie sat alone on the upper level, and Spencer wondered when the appropriate time to go and talk to her was.

Natalie stood in front of the mirror, gazing into her own eyes. Andy was right. They had changed from their usual sparkling honey color to a duller color similar to peanut butter. They lack their usual luster; they were an ugly color that seemed to match how she felt. She wasn't exactly happy—she and Spencer had just gotten into their first fight. But she wasn't fully sad, either. Seeing Andy happy made her happy. Andy was the man that Natalie had turned to when she and Spencer had broken up a few times, and he vowed he would never be happy without her. Things didn't turn out that way, and Natalie was glad.

Spencer walked up the stairs to the loft bedroom and stood at the top of them. Natalie turned around and sighed. She had been dreading this moment since the fight. She sauntered to the bed and pulled the white sheets back. Despite the cold weather, she had dressed down to black brief-shorts and a white cami for sleeping. Spencer was still in his usual cords, standing at the top of the stairs. Natalie slipped into bed and pulled the blankets up to her waist. She looked over to Spencer to see that he was biting his lip. "Can you throw me a pillow?" he asked.

Confusion took over. "Why?" Natalie wondered, looking down at the satin pillow next to her.

"I figured you wouldn't want to sleep next to such an _inconsiderate_ person," Spencer responded, raising his eyebrows. His tone was clearly annoyed, yet still somewhat caring.

Natalie's heart sank. "Spencer," she said his name softly, but sighed afterward. He stared at her with sad hazel eyes. She shook her head and climbed out of bed. She walked to where he was standing, reaching out for his hands. "I'm sorry," she apologized, letting her head fall to his chest, which heaved as he sighed. Natalie let go of his hands and linked hers around his waist.

"It's my fault," Spencer replied. "You were right. I was being a jerk. I know exactly how Andy feels. I was making him go through what he made me go through." He raised his hands to her head and began to play with her hair, remembering earlier. Natalie wanted Andy to see Spencer again and actually get to know him, so that Andy would know that she's happy. Spencer was alright at first, but then he let his jealous feelings take over.

Natalie smiled and kissed his chest gently. "I love you," she murmured quietly. Spencer pushed away to look into her eyes.

"And I love you," he told her. Natalie grinned, feeling her insides melt from his sweet words. She wrapped her fingers around his wrist and lured him over to the bed.

He climbed into bed, and she followed. Spencer slung a long arm around her waist, and she wiggled her body around so that she could face him. As soon as she did so, Spencer pressed his lips to hers. Their lips melted to each other's so perfectly, the way they always did. Spencer held the face of the girl he truly loved in his hands and rolled on top of her body, deepening the kiss. The fight they had earlier was nonexistent in both of their minds.

* * *

Feeble morning light penetrated the windows of the loft as it enveloped the outside. Despite the suns rays, the temperature was still relatively chilly in the morning, with the brisk wind still whirling around. Spencer slumped out of bed and slowly, quietly, made himself a cup of coffee. He then walked back up the stairs to where Natalie was still sleeping soundly. She had rolled onto her stomach, with one of her arms sprawled onto the floor. Her mouth was parted open, and her eyes were closed gently. Spencer sat down at her feet. His fingers danced across her thigh, on top of the thin blanket. She didn't budge, so Spencer continued to rub his girlfriends leg.

She then slowly stirred. "Mmm..." she moaned, smiling. When she finally opened her eyes, Spencer noticed a shine to them that he'd never seen before, and he also noticed the tiniest bit of green in them. "Morning, baby." Natalie's smile grew even wider.

"Good morning. How'd you sleep?" Spencer asked, his hand traveling from her thigh to the middle of her back.

Natalie sat up and took his hand away from her back so that she could hold it. "That was actually the best sleep I've gotten in a while. What about you?"

"Amazing. The best part was waking up to you. Just like always." Natalie beamed and wrapped Spencer in a big hug. She took in his smell, coffee and chocolate. The smell she'd grown to love so much. She felt her stomach churn, but figured it was most likely from not eating yet.

"I'm hungry, though. Let's make breakfast!" Spencer laughed as she jumped out of bed and excitedly hopped down the stairs. He quickly followed her and watched as she took out some eggs to scramble. After offering to make bacon, he began the task. Not even two minutes after the bacon started frying, Spencer was burnt from the grease. Natalie laughed as he yelped from the pain of the burn, and she quickly cured it with cold water and toothpaste. "Thanks, baby." Spencer kissed her softly and gently. "I don't know what I'd do without you. I love you so much. Nothing could ever change that."

Natalie wondered if it was true, and then she began to feel nauseous. She figured her face showed it, because Spencer quickly moved closer to her with a concerned look in his eyes. Natalie sighed. She began speaking quickly, and the faster she spoke, the more quickly she began speaking in French. The language she only spoke when she couldn't say what she wanted to in English. "Look... I have something to tell you. It's something I've figured out, and I'm surprised that it's happened, and cela est difficile. Ce que j'essaie de vous dire, c'est que ... Je suis enceinte."

"Natalie, Natalie. Slow down. I can't understand you." He placed his right hand on her cheek. "Please. Slow down and just talk to me. Preferably in English." He let out a small laugh, trying to get her to at least smile. When she didn't, and he saw that the whites of her eyes were pink, he began stroking her cheek.

She sighed again, and, after a sniff and in a whisper, she replied, "I'm pregnant."

* * *

_A/N: I know you all saw it coming, but I had to do it. Don't think you'll expect what happens next, though ;) My favorite part of the story (not just chapter, but entire part in general) is coming up now! Yeeee, haha. Can't wait for you guys to read! Next part should be up quickly, since it's already written, and I'm excited :D - RA._


	14. Chapter 14

**"Life's like an hourglass glued to the table: no one can find  
the rewind button, girl. So cradle your head in your  
hands, and breathe. Just breathe..."  
- Anna Nalick**

Spencer stood up and remained completely still for a moment that, in his mind, seemed like an hour. He turned around and put his hands on his face. He then slowly slid them down and sighed as he watched Natalie stand up slowly out of the corner of his eye. Spencer turned around and clapped his hands lightly, "Alright. Abortion." Natalie gave him an unsure look. "Please. Please, please, please. Please!" Spencer begged her. He was almost 85 percent sure that he didn't want to bring another little him into the world. He didn't want the child to be cursed with his mind or the possibility of having Schizophrenia.

"I-I... I'm not sure... if that's what I want to do yet..." Natalie stammered, not understanding why Spencer would suggest such a thing.

"You can't honestly tell me this is what you want." Spencer raised his voice only slightly.

"I-I don't know!" she told him, slightly raising her own.

"No. No. NO!" Spencer yelled the last no, accidentally getting out of hand.

"Shhh! Jesus I don't want the whole fucking world to hear!" Natalie lightly hit him in the chest.

Spencer sighed and leaned against the wall. "I know, I'm sorry... I'm just surprised by this."

"And you think I'm not?" Natalie asked.

He looked at her and motioned for her to come closer to him. She did, and he pulled her into a large hug. Natalie felt comfortable in his arms, and she could tell he felt something important. The hug wasn't too tight or too loose, it was just right. Perfect, like their hugs always were. Natalie put her head into his chest as he spoke again. "Look, we've got our work... Why don't we just wait for the weekend, and we'll figure out what we're going to do?"

She nodded slowly, "Alright." Natalie could feel him looking down at her, but she didn't want to look up because a couple of tears had escaped her eyes. Since she didn't, he stuck his hand under her chin and pushed her head up softly. They locked eyes, and then Spencer dipped down and gave her a soft kiss. Natalie felt my heart start to beat quickly once again, and she knew Spencer noticed. He put his hand on her heart with no expression on his face. He then took her hand and placed it on his own heart, which, too, was beating quickly.

Natalie looked up and he half-smiled down at her. She slightly smiled back, and let out the breath she had been holding since he grabbed her hand. "Let's go back inside. We have work to get ready for," she said softly. She began to walk inside the room, but Spencer grabbed her wrist to stop her.

He kissed her lips one more time. "I love you. I will forever."

She looked into his sincere eyes. "Really?"

"Yes." He nodded. "That's the problem," he added with a small laugh, to signal he was joking. Natalie smiled, and then they both headed back into the room.

* * *

That weekend, Spencer and Natalie were lying in bed. They were messing with each other's hands, touching, and just enjoying their time together. After a little while, they were on their backs, just staring at the ceiling. "So, um... what do you think?" Spencer finally asked, breaking the silence between them.

With one look at him, Natalie could tell what he was talking about. "I don't know, Spencer. Um, I've been thinking about it a lot... either way there are pros and cons, you know? Keeping it and having a family, but not necessarily having a lot of money. And... the chance that the child could develop certain illnesses." She glanced to Spencer, who winced, but remained silent. She continued, "Or... have an abortion and save a lot of time and money... and we're still young. Me especially."

Spencer nodded, not looking at her. "Yeah. But um... you know ultimately it's your decision. Whatever you decide... I'll support you." Spencer then turned to look at Natalie as she continued to stare at the ceiling, thinking about it.

"I think... we should probably just do... the abortion."

"Are you sure?" Spencer asked her. She finally looked at him again. "Spencer, we both have a lot going on... we can't have a baby right now," she explained. "And you suggested it first."

"I know. Okay... I mean that baby would be... beautiful, ha. But um, you're right. It's not a good time at all. I guess we should do the research and get everything settled then..." Spencer replied, receiving a nod from Natalie. She secretly wondered if she'd made the right choice, and Spencer wondered if he'd made the right suggestion.

* * *

That night, after extensive research, they made an appointment for the next weekend at a clinic in Downtown DC. Spencer was sitting on the bed. Natalie was lying down with her head in his lap, and he was stroking her hair softly. "So, I'll pay, and I'll take off work as long as I need to so I can take care of you. Okay?" Natalie nodded at Spencer's proposal. He looked down at her. "You okay?"

"Yeah, yeah. I'm... I'm fine." She already knew he wouldn't believe her.

"That didn't sound too convincing." Yep.

"Let's just stop talking for now. Come here..." Natalie moved up the bed and got under the blankets. Spencer followed her and did the same. "Just lay with me."

Spencer nodded and wrapped his arms tightly around her. Her heart started pounding once again. "I love holding you like this..." Natalie smiled as she heard him say this and snuggled deeper into him. His embrace warmed her even more than the blankets, and when he kissed her neck, she couldn't help but smile. She looked to her right at the calendar on the wall. It had days marked off, and a day marked, "CLINIC - 8:00 A.M." in big red letters. It showed that the date was the next day. Natalie sighed.

She then noticed Spencer looking at it, too. "Tomorrow," he stated.

"Tomorrow," Natalie repeated. She turned her head around and kissed him. He was still holding on to her, and he pulled her closer and kissed her neck.

They then, once again, lied down to face each other. "How are you feeling?" Spencer questioned.

"I don't know, really. Not tired, for one. I was fine earlier, but now... I don't know. Scared. Nervous. Anxious. Not good." Natalie put a hand on my stomach.

"I'm sorry," Spencer apologized. That's when Natalie started silently crying. "No... no, no, no, please don't cry. I-I don't know how to handle crying. I can't handle crying well." Spencer told her, but when his words failed, he simply wrapped her in a tight hug.

"I can't help it. I'm so scared," she admitted.

"It's going to be alright, Nat. You'll be fine."

She made space between them so she could look at his face. She'd stopped crying, but was sniffling. "Are you sure we're doing the right thing?"

"Of course. Natalie, we've been over this a hundred times," he explained again.

Natalie closed the space between them again and nodded into his chest. "Yeah..." Spencer tilted her head up and kissed her. She put her hand on his face, and he brushed some hair out of hers as she sniffed again. They kissed again, this time deeper, before snuggling up and falling asleep.

* * *

Spencer anxiously tapped his fingers on the armrests of the chair he was sitting in. Natalie sat next to him, quietly filling out paperwork, and he couldn't help but look around. The small lobby was decorated in Obama posters and parenthood posters. He realized that some of the other girls in the office (who were unaccompanied) were giving him dirty looks. He elbowed Natalie softly, and she looked up, confused.

"What?" she whispered. He motioned lightly to the girls, and she shook my head. "What, Spencer?"

"They're all giving us dirty looks."

"So?"

"So, they're hypocrites. They're here for the same reason," he explained.

Natalie gave him an unreadable look. "It's alright, Spencer. Just don't pay attention." She continued filling out the very last lines of her paper work as a nurse came into the lobby with a clipboard.

"Natalie Moriarity?" She called loudly, causing Natalie to slightly jump in surprise. She slowly stood up and handed the paperwork to the nurse. Spencer moved to follow them, but Natalie put a hand out to tell him to sit back down. She then gave him a small nod, letting him know that she'd be okay, and proceeded to follow the nurse into the back.

Spencer sighed and sat back down, leaning forward to rest his elbows on his knees. He ran his fingers through his hair, messing it up even more, and dragged them down his face. He sat nervously swaying his legs for almost an hour, and soon after that, Natalie emerged from the back, holding a couple slips of paper. Spencer jumped up. "Are you okay?"

"Yeah, I'm... fine," she told him. He gave her a silent nod and lightly put his arm around her.

They exited the building, and it was then that they noticed some protestors across the street. Spencer gave Natalie a sympathetic look as he sat behind the wheel of his car. She acted as though she didn't notice them, but she secretly felt horrible. But she simply stared out of the window as Spencer began driving towards the loft.

They both knew the next couple of days would be long ones.

* * *

_A/N: So what do you think? Pretty good, right? I think so at least, ha. I know it jumped around a little, but sue me, haha :D -RA._


	15. Chapters 15 & 16

_A/N: So this is the next two chapters in one, because they're both kind of short. So put together, they're about the length of a normal chapter, I believe. Just decided to post both at once instead of making you wait :D Enjoy!_

_

* * *

_

**"I know that you're leaving. You must have your reasons. The season  
is calling. Your pictures are falling down. The steps that I  
retrace, the sad look on your face, the timing..."  
- Blink 182**

Spencer stared at Natalie from across the bullpen. I was February. It had been three months since they'd gone to the clinic, and since then Natalie had been acting extremely different. She was almost never happy anymore, she kept to herself most days, and she seemed tired all the time. Spencer had never seen her like this, and he had almost no idea what the cause could be. She sat hunched over the files on her desk, staring at them blankly. Her eyes had turned to that peanut butter shade, and they were filled with sleepiness. Her hair looked as though it hadn't been brushed or washed in a week, although it had been.

What Spencer didn't know, was that she was hunched over to conceal her phone, which she was talking into. "No, I'm at work so I don't want to be loud. How long has he been there? Oh... that's horrible. I guess I can try. Well, I've left work a couple of times already. You know, being in the hospital and then to be with Andy. I'd feel bad leaving again. I know, but -- Well, I'd probably only tell Derek why. I know, I know. Alright. I'll call you back later and let you know. I love you too."

She quickly hung up and looked around the room to make sure that no one had listened in on her call. She stood up and walked down the hallway to Morgan's office. She knocked lightly, and after hearing a "Come in," she entered the office. "Oh, Natalie. What's going on?" Morgan greeted and wondered with a large smile.

"I actually wanted to talk to you about something kind of important." Morgan's smile faded and he nodded as he waved a hand at the seat in front of his desk.

Back in the bullpen, Spencer was wondering where Natalie had disappeared to. Emily came up to him with a small stack of files. "Reid, Hotch asked if you could finish the Downey files for him," she said before noticing his mood. "What's up?"

"I don't know. Natalie's been off lately, have you noticed?" Spencer inquired.

Emily nodded. "It might have something to do with Nathaniel, though." Spencer gave her a confused look, and she mimicked it. "She hasn't told you? Well, maybe it's better if she does over me..." Emily walked away just a Natalie re-entered the bullpen.

Spencer only stood in the same place he'd been standing, watching her every move, gesture, and expression. He watched as she began packing up some things from her desk. He watched as she sluggishly stood up and walked over to him with a somber expression on her face. "Spencer... it's lunchtime. Can we go for a walk?"

Without words, Spencer began leading her out of the building. Once they were outside, Spencer stopped walking and turned around to face her. "What's going on, Natalie? Why have you been acting so differently the past few months, and why did you pack up your desk? What's wrong?"

"Spencer, please... stop asking so many questions. I'm fine. I know I've been different. Let me explain myself." Natalie sighed and walked to the bench that was close by. Luckily no one was around to hear their conversation. Spencer followed suit, and Natalie began her explanation. "Nathaniel is sick. Really sick. He's been in the hospital for a while now. Jason's taken him back over to London, and... I'm going too."

"What!?" Spencer half-shouted.

"Shhhh!" Natalie put a hand on his arm. "Let me finish." Natalie rubbed her palms against her thighs and spoke again. "I know I keep leaving you, and I'm sorry. But this is my family. He means more to me than anything else in the world, and I need to be with him. He needs me right now."

Spencer ran his fingers through his messy, now rather long, hair. "Alright. I understand that. But how long will you be gone?"

Natalie shrugged her shoulders. "I'm not sure. I guess until he gets better. I've already talked to Morgan and he's told me to take as long as I need."

"Okay. I'm sorry I kind of freaked out a minute ago. I just... I hate when you're not around, Natalie," Spencer let her know, grabbing her hand with his own.

Natalie smiled for the first time in a while. "I know. I hate it too. But I promise the instant things start looking up, I'll be on the first plane back." She raised his d to her lips and kissed it softly.

"Good." It was his turn to kiss her. "I just wish you weren't leaving before Valentine's Day." He let out a small chuckle, causing Natalie to smile.

"I know, I know! But I got you a present. I mean... I won't be able to see you open it, but I know you'll like it." Natalie smiled and checked the small watch on her left wrist. "Oh, shoot. I should go grab my stuff so I can go home and pack..."

Spencer's smile turned into a frown, and Natalie mirrored his sad expression. "Alright." He stood up, dragging her up as well since he was still holding onto her hand. "I'm going to miss you so much."

"I know. I'm going to miss you more than that, though." Natalie embraced him tightly.

Spencer gripped his love just as tightly and laughed. "I doubt it."

* * *

**"I never thought the whispers were true 'til now. I saw things that I  
shouldn't have tonight. I know now what I couldn't have.  
I've gone too far to turn it back..."  
- The Academy Is...**

Nathaniel woke up to find Natalie curled up in the fetal position in a chair next to his bed. He was too weak to move, and he didn't want to wake her, so he simply watched her. "She got in early this morning," Nathaniel heard Gideon say from his other side. "She hasn't left at all. Not even to use the bathroom or eat."

"She hasn't eaten? But she looks like she just did," Nathaniel said, continuing to look Natalie up and down.

Gideon walked to her side and nodded. "I think I know why."

"You don't think she--"

Gideon held a hand up and cut him off with a nod. "I knew it the second she called me three months ago."

"Huh. Well, yes. It's not easy to hide things from you." Nathaniel shifted uncomfortably in his bed. "Do you think anyone else knows?"

"I'd like to think someone does, but no. She's not the type to express things like this on her own. Not unless she's forced to," Gideon reminded him.

After he nodded, he noticed Natalie waking. She stretched and smiled at him "Hey. How are you feeling?"

"Better for now. But I want to talk about you. How do you feel?" Nathaniel asked, his eyes burning into Natalie's.

She shifted uncomfortably, a habit she had developed in the last few months that nobody seemed to notice. "I feel fine. Just worried about you."

"Not worried about yourself?" Gideon put in. Natalie simply gave them both a confused expression. She knew what they were talking about, but she wanted to put off talking about it as long as possible. Gideon continued to give Natalie his infamous stern look.

She sighed. "It's no big thing."

"Well how long now?" Nathaniel asked.

"I don't know. Five months?" Natalie guess. She thought about it for a moment, wincing her eyes, then wrinkling her nose as she always did.

"Four months," Gideon corrected. Natalie let out a small laugh and shook her head.

"Left?" Nathaniel questioned, exasperatedly as Natalie nodded.

"Honestly, that's why I came. I told everyone your illness was more serious than it really is, but... really, I just wanted to get away from everyone for a while. Go through this on my own," Natalie said.

Gideon slightly frowned. "So no one knows?" Natalie shook her head solemnly. "You didn't even tell Spencer?"

"I couldn't. It's not the right time. I will. I just couldn't do it before I left. It was his idea to go through with the abortion, and he kept reassuring me that it was the right choice... I just didn't have the heart to tell him that I couldn't do it."

Gideon nodded in understanding. "Well when the time comes... what are you going to do?"

She smiled weakly. "Actually, I was hoping you could help me with that...?"

"Help you how exactly?" he wondered, raising an eyebrow in suspicion.

"I was kind of hoping that you could just keep the baby for a little while. Just until I tell Spencer and we get everything settled," Natalie proposed.

Gideon stroked his chin. "Alright. But it better be soon after. I'm too old to be taking care of a baby." The three of them shared a loud laugh.

Natalie smiled. "So what is it?" Nathaniel asked her.

"It's going to be a boy."

* * *

_A/N: Haha, YEAHHHHHH, ya'll thought she actually got it. I told you not to expect what happens next. And that's sill true, just so you know ;) And I know these weren't the best chapters, as in the most descriptive or anything, but I was in a hurry when I was writing them, so sorry! -RA._


	16. Chapter 17

_A/N: Sorry it took so long to get this out. Had it pre-written, but I felt like this story isn't as popular as it once was. So I re-wrote it. Hope you enjoy. Also, this is the second to last chapter, meaning the next one is the last one. Ahhhhh! Sorry to end it so suddenly, haha :p_

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* * *

_

**"I could feel it go down. Bittersweet, I could taste in my mouth. Silver lining  
in the clouds. Oh, and I, I wish that I could work it out. And  
the hardest part was letting go, not taking part."  
- Coldplay**

Nathaniel recovered quicker than the doctors thought he would. He was released from the hospital in just one month, but Natalie stayed with him in London to ride out the rest of her pregnancy without anyone back in Quantico knowing. Not even Emily knew why she'd stayed, even though Nathaniel was better. She knew to keep her mouth closed about it, though.

The next couple of months were hard for Natalie. She would be hungry all the time, but when she thought about eating, her hunger would disappear. When she actually did eat, she would take two bites and not be hungry anymore. She could barely sleep at night, and she would take frequent short naps during the day.

All in all, though, everything seemed to be going just fine. She'd visited the doctor a few times for routine check-ups, and everything seemed normal. After two months and her fifth visit, she came home to find Nathaniel waiting for her. "How'd it go?"

"I don't know. Fine? It was normal," Natalie said nonchalantly as she sat next to him n the couch. "I'm so tired."

"Time for another mid-day nap, huh," Nathaniel stated, more than asked. Natalie nodded as she curled up in a corner of the couch. "I'll get the blanket." Natalie giggled lightly as she drifted into sleep.

She was woken up by the sound of a male voice. "When were you going to tell me?"

Natalie opened her eyes and sat up in shock. "Wh-what are you doing here?"

"I flew here, and it took me forever. But I needed to see you. I needed to know why you hid this from me."

Natalie swallowed hard. "I-I just didn't want you to worry about me. I wanted to do this on my own."

"Well does Spencer know?"

"I didn't want him to... since it's not his."

Natalie stared into Andy's eyes, tears threatening to fall out. He sighed and made his way to the couch to sit down next to her. He slipped an arm around her shoulders and let her lay her head on his right one. "Shh. It's okay," Andy comforted. "So what are you going to do?"

"Have it. My dad's going to take care of it until I'm ready, which shouldn't be too, too long," Natalie explained. She lifted her head up and wiped her eyes. "This is ridiculous. Why does the stupid stuff always happen to me?"

"It's not stupid or ridiculous. It's life. Things happen. You can't control it," Andy told her, nervously cracking his knuckles one by one.

Natalie sighed. "Right, right." She furrowed her brow before standing up. "I'm going to take a shower. We can talk more about this in a little bit, alright?" Andy nodded quietly before Natalie exited the room.

She let the shower's hot water run over her for a few minutes before moving again. All of her movements in the shower were slow and shaky as she thought about everything. Suddenly, she felt something painful inside. It felt as though her intestines had wrapped around her stomach, and they were squeezing it extremely tightly. She closed her eyes, groaned and keeled over, the hot water hitting her back and very slightly soothing the pain. When she opened her eyes, she noticed blood heading towards the drain.

Forty-five minutes later, she had dressed herself and slowly gone back down the stairs. Andy was in the exact spot she'd left him in, now joined by Nathaniel and Gideon. They were watching a football game on the television. When they spotted Natalie's pale form at the bottom of the stairs, their smiles turned into looks of concern.

"It's over," Natalie stated solemnly.

Andy stood up. "Natalie? What are you talking about?"

She remained in her spot at the bottom of the stairs and answered, "I... had a miscarriage. It's over. I just came down to let you know that. I'm going to go upstairs and sleep... for a while." With that, she turned around and traveled back up the stairs.

Natalie felt that she still wasn't up to returning to Quantico just yet, so she remained in London for another month. The entire time Andy stayed with her. He was comforting and understanding, everything Natalie needed at that time. She hadn't spoken to anyone from home in two months, and she knew that Spencer was worried about her. She could feel it. She just couldn't bring herself to call him, though. Natalie felt that if she told him everything that went on, he wouldn't look at her in the same way.

When she finally did return to Quantico, she was welcomed with open arms. Everything seemed to be normal, except things between Spencer and her. Spencer had been avoiding her since she'd gotten back, and Natalie felt horrible. She knew that being away for so long without any kind of explanation or call took a hard toll on their relationship. At that point, she wasn't even sure they were in a relationship anymore. She figured the best thing to do was confront him.

"Spencer." Natalie sat with her hands in her lap on the couch in the loft.

Spencer jumped in surprise. "How'd you get in?"

"I still have a key, you know," Natalie reminded him.

"Right," he mumbled. "Well, what's going on?"

Natalie stood up and paced quietly before speaking. "I wanted to tell you... why I was gone for so long."

"I'm listening," Spencer stated as he took her seat on the couch.

Natalie breathed in and out deeply before starting. "So, I _did_ leave because Nathaniel was sick. But see, he got out of the hospital within the first month I was there. The reason I stayed was... because I was still pregnant." She checked for any sign that Spencer might say something, but when he didn't, she continued. "I wanted so badly to tell you, but I didn't think you'd forgive me when you found out that I didn't go through with the abortion. I spent the whole time in the clinic just deciding what I wanted to do. So I stayed in London to ride out the pregnancy on my own. Then, after about two more months... I had a miscarriage." Spencer still didn't speak. He simply stared off into space, so Natalie went on. "I stayed for one more month to recover and get my head back together. But, um, probably the most important reason I didn't tell you was... that it wasn't actually your baby."

That's when Spencer shot up to his feet. "It wasn't mine!?" Natalie shook her head, not speaking. Spencer's eyes widened when he figured out what she really meant. "It was Andy's." After another nod form Natalie, Spencer raised his voice a little. "Why didn't you tell me in the first place! I still would have been supportive. You knew that I loved you and that I would have done anything for you. All I want is for you to be happy."

Natalie was silent for a moment. "Loved?"

Spencer sighed. "Loved. Love? After everything... I'm not even sure anymore."

"So what does that mean?" Natalie questioned cautiously, afraid of the answer.

He looked at her for a minute. He wasn't sure how to answer her, what words to use. But he did know how he felt, and he did know what he wanted. "Maybe we should just take a break for a while."

Natalie's eyes watered, but before she allowed any tears to fall, she left the loft. She had nowhere else to go except the apartment that the band still had in DC. Over the next couple of weeks, Natalie remained at the BAU. She wasn't going to let what happened between her and Spencer make her run away yet again. Although, this time, she did what she always did when she and Spencer broke up... she went back to Andy.

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_A/N: AHHHHHHHHH! Crazy, right? So, like I said, next chapter is the last! It should be out soon because it's already written. But only if I get enough feedback in the next couple of days! Get excited, though! The ending is going to be goooooood :D_


	17. Chapter 18 FINAL

_A/N: 'Kay! As I said previously, this is the last chapter! I'm awfully proud of it *blush face*, so I hope you like it, too!_

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**"Leave the oh-no's out, and believe me, Natalie.**  
**Listen, Natalie. This is your last chance.**  
**There is an old cliche..."  
- The Killers**

Natalie looked at the pear shaped diamond on her ring finger. The ring was truly beautiful; she couldn't deny that. But its meaning... was it really all that beautiful? Andy and Natalie had only been dating again for three weeks, yet they'd begun planning their wedding already. The ring may have symbolized marriage, but in their case, it also symbolized a stupid decision on both of their parts. Especially Natalie's.

She knew—no matter how much everyone else denied it—that Andy only proposed so that she wouldn't run back to Spencer like she usually did. He and Natalie had dated off and on for a long time, and everyone knew that Spencer still held her heart in a certain way, just as she held his. He could deny it all he wanted, but everyone knew that she'd forever be his first love. You can't just forget or get over your first love. Even if you don't want them anymore, the burning memory of your first kiss will forever be imprinted in your thoughts. Natalie knew that's how she felt, and after being with Spencer for as long as she had been, she just knew he felt the same way.

Natalie's eyes slipped to the wooden cutout of her name that Spencer had made her in their second year together. Natalie had been in the hospital, and Spencer was left home alone once again. When she'd gotten back he showed her what he'd written. The T was out of proportion, and the E was bigger than every other letter. She sighed, remembering what he wrote on the back of it. She didn't have to look at it to repeat it. She knew it by heart. _Natalie, since you couldn't physically be home with me, I decided to at least have your name with me. I love you. Spencer._

She took a deep breath and ran her hand across her face as she slipped the piece of wood back into her bag. Today she had to tell Spencer that she was getting married, and that she couldn't finish the case with the team, because the wedding was in a week. She knew Spencer's reaction wouldn't be a friendly "_congratulations_". No; it would be anything but that. She just didn't know what. Spencer's reactions were always a surprise, and she didn't know if she should expect tears, silence, or screaming. She swallowed hard. She had to tell them now, before things went any further, so she took a deep breath and curled her fingers into fists. "Guys?" she called out. The team turned to look at her, while Spencer only slightly turned his head towards her, trying to pay more attention to his egg McMuffin. "I can't finish the case with you."

"Why?" Morgan asked, shoving his own egg McMuffin into his mouth. He drank from a bottle of grape Fanta while staring at Natalie. She looked to Spencer and noticed he was now staring at her as well. His eyes were liquid, sadness swimming in them, and his slight smile tried to conceal his sadness.

"I'm getting married," Natalie replied, touching her hand to her black and white scarf. Spencer choked on his food. The rest of the team smiled, and Natalie tried to smile back. "I love you guys. I'm sorry I can't stay with you for the whole case."

"Don't apologize!" Hotch said with a warm smile. "You're getting married! That's wonderful!" Natalie laughed in response and looked to Spencer. He was the closest person to her, therefore the first person she would hug goodbye.

She took in a deep breath and awkwardly went to hug Spencer. She slung her arms around his shoulders as he uncomfortably wrapped his arm around her waist, gently pulling her closer. She tucked his bangs behind his ear and kissed his forehead gently. She could hear him gulp, which caused her stomach to tighten. She went around the circle, hugging everyone, then finally said goodbye and walked out of the police station they'd been at, trying to hide her tears. She reached for the ring in her pocket and slid it on. That only caused more tears as she patiently waited for a taxi to pick her up.

She took a taxi to the airport so that she could fly to Andy's hometown of Lancaster, Pennsylvania. Taking a deep breath, she checked her watch. She still had four minutes until her plane was supposed to start boarding. She shifted her weight from side to side, her watery eyes glued to the giant electronic board in front of her. Footsteps came from behind her, but she ignored them, thinking they were another person waiting for the flight, but then a voice came along with the footsteps.

"Nat, don't go." Natalie spun around, her dark brown hair flowing behind her. She found herself looking into Spencer's tired hazel eyes and felt her bottom lip begin to quiver once again. "Please, don't go. Don't marry him."

"Spencer, I'm getting married," she replied, trying to firm her tone. It came out pathetic and unconvincing.

He stared at her for a long moment. "Don't, Natalie. Not to him," he begged; a single tear streamed down his face as a lump traveled down his throat.

Natalie's stomach tightened. "Why aren't you at the station, Spencer?" she asked, her voice breaking with tears.

"I don't want you to marry him. I want you to marry me. Please, Natalie, this is a promise," he said, falling to his knees. He looked up at Natalie, those gorgeous hazel eyes melting her heart. He took her hands into his and rubbed them gently. "I don't have a ring right now, but I promise I'll get you one." The employee at the kiosk in front of them turned on the loud system to let everyone know the boarding had begun for her flight. He looked down to them, his blue eyes widening in shock. Spencer looked to him and then back to Natalie. "Natalie, don't go. I love you too much to let you marry another guy."

"Then why did we break up? Again? Spencer, I thought you got over me," Natalie mumbled.

"You can't just get over your first love," Spencer said firmly, repeating Natalie's thoughts from that morning. She stared at him incredibly. It was as if he could read her mind, like he always thought _she_ could do.

The employee awed at them. "I'm with Andy, though," Natalie said weakly. Spencer gulped, keeping his eyes on hers. His grip tightened on her hands.

"But do you _want_ to be?" He asked. Her heart squeezed as a tear streamed down her face. She dropped to her knees, joining Spencer.

"No, I want to be with you," she murmured into his shirt.

"Then stay with me. I know what you're thinking—we're old sweethearts; it won't work out. But it will. Believe me, Natalie, it will. We won't wash up like the rest," Spencer replied, stroking her back gently. He pulled her out of his arms and dried her tears, then began to smile at her. She swallowed hard and half-smiled back. "So will you marry me, Nat?"

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_A/N: HA! Oh yeah, I did it. I left it there. Because, guess what? There will be one FINAL story in this series, making it a trilogy! Woooooooooo!! Who's excited!? Tell me, haha._


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